Why? Not Altamonte Springs, Florida

February 20th & 21st, 2009

I LOVE the Why Not Lounge in Altamonte Springs, Florida. It’s an Orlando institution, been around for at least 20 years. Some of the regulars have been coming to the Why Not Lounge since their early 20’s…and still go there to party in their 40’s and beyond.
The regulars are very friendly, like family, looking out for each other. It’s a meat market…with benefits. And it’s the best place to watch people. I get more material from 10pm – 2am in this place in one night, than a month in Wal-Mart during Christmas season. I LOVE the Why Not Lounge!

Friday night show – I was on! One of my best shows ever. Saturday night show - I was seasick having to look back and forth between the right and left sides of the audience. A table of 20, seated right in the middle didn’t show, splitting the audience in two. It was still a great show, even though the audience was kind of tight with their laughs.

This weekend, I worked with seasoned headliner Mike Rivera (Everybody say Oooo!) who is high energy funny. Mike’s comedy career began when he entered an America’s Funniest Teacher Competition and won it. I work with Mike again in March and I'm looking forward to it!

Altamonte is all about the people…so here we go…

Mike Rivera, NO WAY! Great working with you again!

Katie Hughes, keep up the great work, and what a trouper stepping in as the emcee on Friday.

Mike Lemont, great job as emcee on Saturday. Thanks for letting me hang with your friends Friday night!

Uncle Ray, I love the Sanford and Son theme.

Richy Lala, great guest set. Is there a support group for Jewish comedians that beat box?

Why Not Lounge Staff ...thanks! You’re the best…and you know it.

Jodie, Happy Birthday, and glad to know you still wear my shirt when you spank people.

Tonya, you still rock and I still have you picture up on my myspace.

John the DJ, You get the “Best Musical Cues EVER” award.

Jerod and other Bouncer that does Thai martial arts, thanks again for helping me lug my shit all over the place.


Why? Not Patrons

Tammy and Martha – you rock! Thanks for letting me hang with you Friday night. And Martha, thanks for the pics! (pic above: Martha is wearing red, Tammy is the blond. Please send me the name of the mystery woman.)

Stu from Boca, good to see you again, glad you’re well and still loving comedy, but not enough to catch MY show.

Scott – nice to meet you and talk about flight simulators. I like your sense of humor, and hope you got back to NSB ok.

Darlene of The Millionaires, what a great show woman! You’re like my cousin, Paula. Love ya!

Rob B, the guitarist , you’re the first person ever to give me their email address on a napkin. Is your number 867-5309?

Kevin, I enjoyed talking with you. You’re a good soul, keep doing the right thing!

Marisa, you’re a sweet girl, and a lot of fun. Please try not to leave future parties being “carried away.”

Joe aka Jewish Fred Flintston, you’re a fun guy…in a mushroom kind of way.

Lorie, Brian, Zoraya, and Craig, nice meeting you, and thanks for the shot!

Lynn with the big boobs, you and I are headed to Vickie’s Secrets when I’m back in town.

Jeff and Donita, THANK YOU for coming out! Jeff and I used to ride the bus to school together. And it wasn’t the short yellow bus either.

Michelle J. – That which does not kill me…best wishes with your December discovery. Happy thoughts to you!

To EVERYONE who bought shirts – send me a picture of you wearing my shirt, and I’ll put it on my myspace! Send pics to tkpopfanclub@yahoo.com.

To EVERYONE who wants a monthly laugh – send me your email address and I’ll add you to my e-newsletter list, email address above.

And last but not least…

To Michael the engineer – sorry to cut our conversation short, but you were creeping me out.

I think that’s everybody…love ya, and thanks for a great weekend!

Traci

St. Augustine, Florida

February 13th & 14th, 2009

Valentine’s Day in St. Augustine, Florida. Romantic, indeed!
This was the perfect combination of romance and comedy. I got to perfect my craft in a new (to me) comedy club, Gypsy Comedy Club, while spending quality time with my husband. It was a win-win for everyone!

Mike and I stayed at a beautiful Bed and Breakfast, the historic Inn on Charlotte.
Please check out their site at http://www.innoncharlotte.com/, and if you go, tell Lynne The Princess of Parodies sent you. Our room came with a dozen roses, thanks to my wonderful, thoughtful husband. We had been to St. Augustine 4 or 5 years ago and loved it, but didn’t get to The Fountain of Youth, which tops on our agenda.

Before I get any further, understand that I LOVE tourist traps. When I was growing up, my parents took vacations all over the U.S., and we always traveled in old cars, like a 1926 Dodge, or a 1936 Packard. I’ve been to Mt. Rushmore and Wall Drug in South Dakota. I rode to the top of Pike’s Peak in a 1935 Oldsmobile. When I was 15 or 16, I drove a 57 Ford convertible in the hills of West Virginia, ending up in New Vrindaban at Hare Krishna Temple of Gold. Florida is the Mecca for Tourist Traps…and I’ve hit a good many of them the last 13 years I’ve lived here: Weekie Wachee (mermaids!), Solomon’s Castle (a favorite, best use of recycling ever), Silver Springs (glass bottom boats), Dinosaur World (real live dinosaurs), and Disney (talking rats), etc. To me, tourist traps are what America is all about. Find that one special, unique thing about your place on this planet, exploit it, and then find a way to suck every last dollar out of someone’s pocket. Yes! God Bless America…that is what our country does best.

I love tourist traps. If you’re going to do it…do it well. Disney over does it, by putting mouse ears on the sewer covers. Dinosaur World under does it in a fun, cheesy, Velveeta way. It’s American, it’s family friendly, and gets the job done. But it's still cheese. The Fountain of Youth…they under do it, in a BIG WAY. It didn’t suck “ass,” but it did suck. Here’s what you get for $8, per person:

As you come in, you can’t help but notice the advertisements of Ponce De Leon on a SEGWAY. What better way to capture the flavor of how Ponce De Leon spent his first few days in Florida, way back in 1513, you know, riding around on his SEGWAY.

Once inside The Fountain of Youth, your tour of the first 3 buildings could have been conducted by actors or actresses in the costumes that Spanish Explorers wore when they first came here and pillaged. Oh no! You learn about Spanish exploration from a Florida cracker dressed in an embroidered polo and shorts. He runs from building to building, locking up each building behind him because God forbid, you end up the Planetarium and screw with the 7 Christmas tree lights that make up The Big Dipper. The second building houses The Globe of Discovery, hidden behind a middle school theater curtain. It’s a 2 stories high globe of the earth that turns with the help of a hamster wheel. You can’t help but admire the cutting technology used in this presentation; the laser pointer. We could smell Cracker Boy’s cigarette while we were watching “this presentation.” The last building contained The Fountain of Youth, with typical museum mannequins of Indians, adorned with genuine silk flowers. The Fountain of Youth water did not taste very good either. I've gotten more youth from a shot of Jaegermeister at a biker bar. The other 15 acres you’re free to explore on your own. You can torment any of the 6 peacocks or THE emu. You can also browse the gift shop, which had ashtrays that said “Alabama” on sale.

Nothing has been done with The Fountain of Youth tourist trap since it’s inception, except for some occasional lawn maintenance, and the low bid won that work too. St. Augustine just experienced a cold snap that killed several plants in the area. Not at The Fountain of Youth! There was no landscaping, so what could possibly die? The Fountain of Youth could have made it up to us with the live cannon firing…
but alas…they didn't have the balls.

The Gypsy Comedy Club! Great food, great people, great laughs! Over the years, several comics have told me what a great club Gypsy is, and they were right. The food is delicious! The Friday night show was a little out there…but Saturday my little Valentine love birds came to have a good time and what a show it was! I was fortunate enough to work with comedy veterans Peter Hefty and Justin again. He’s such a pro, and always very encouraging and helpful. Hope we work together again soon.

Traci with Justin and Peter Hefty

Jim, Jackie, Traci and Hala

Thanks to Gypsy Comedy Club:
Jim and Hala, my long lost Italian/Lebanese sister – thank you!
Deon (Jackie’s husband) – thanks for your help with the sound!
Jackie, YOU are the Glitter Goddess, and my new idol!
Jackie’s family – thank you for everything and supporting Jackie like you do
Susie – great job getting all those people seated Saturday night
Amanda, Mary Kay, Nick, Marlena, and Shauna – best waitstaff and bartenders ever. Thank you for all you do (and I hope I didn’t forget anybody!)

Shout outs to:
Andre Holloway – great seeing you again, best of luck in Rochester
Lori – thanks for the drink, glad you loved the show
Nikki – you are my other long lost sister, wish I could wear gold like you

Nikki (left), Lori (right)

Our new friends we made at the Inn on Charlotte:
Lynne at The Inn – loved breakfast…thanks so much for a great time!
Judye, Judye’s sister and husbands – hope you got back to TN safely (please email me your names), and Judye – best of luck on those bracelets
Sarah and Nancy – nice meeting you! Have fun camping! Remember no A.C., no Traci
James and Michelle from Orange park, (if I forgot your names, please correct me) and make sure you tell everyone you sleep with famous people

And the biggest thanks goes to Mike, my husband...who wrapped cables, did sound, took pictures, ties up all the loose ends, and is otherwise a really good sport about this whole comedy business. My husband is a pilot, so I touched up this photo from Mission de Nombre de Dios and Shrine of Our Lady of Milk and Cookies and dedicated this to him.

Please welcome St. Aeronca, The Patron Saint of Air Traffic Control

Sarasota Eagles

February 11th, 2009

To show just how slowly things can move in comedy…I did a show at B.C.’s Recovery Room in Sarasota on May 1st, 2008. I did really well, sold some shirts, thought nothing else of it other than I had a great show and met some great people. October 24th, I get an email on my blackberry from a woman named Debby who saw me at B.C.’s Recovery Room in May, thought I was funny, and wondered if I’d help out with a fundraiser for Alzheimer’s…in February of 2009. I’m always a little skittish about doing charity work. If you’ve seen my show – it’s not a post-urban pottie mouth show, but it’s definitely not for kiddies either. I always have to run through my checklist when I take on non-comedy club work: 1) Where is the venue? 2) Do I need to bring sound? 3) Will all children be in another building, in another county? No problems, so I took the gig and asked comedian friend Gid Pool to emcee and feature.

In the months preceding the gig, I’m healthy, I exercise, I take care of myself. But the night before the gig, I start having flu and cold like symptoms. I take 2000 mg of Vitamin C every 2 hours, Emer-Gen-C shots whenever I get a sore throat. I rest all day, plenty of fluids including a pitcher of water before the gig – and I’m good enough to go.

Debby kindly pays me before the gig. I put the money in my back pocket, and forget about it. Show time comes, and when Gid is onstage, I run back to the rest room to change into my princess outfit. When I come out, I reach into my pants pocket to pull out the money, and it’s not there.

I run back into the restroom…the money isn't there. Debby sees me panicking, and I finally break down and tell her I can’t find the money. We’re in the restroom pouring through my stuff…when Gid calls my name to come on stage. I don’t hear him.

I finally tell Debby I’ll worry about the money later. I reappear from the restroom, and hear Gid say “There’s Traci!” Once I’m on stage, I forget about the money – it’s all about the audience. I put everything I had into the show…and it was a great show!

While I’m on stage, Debby continued looking for the money. She asked the bartender is anyone turned in some money, and the bartender said a woman found some money, but wouldn’t say how much. Debby got it straightened out right away…and once she did she tried to hold up the money so I’d know she found it. Of course, I didn’t see her…
When I got off stage, Debby introduces me to Melody, the honest soul who reported finding the money. Whew! What a relief. So…the moral of the story is…remember to put your money in a safe place at an Alzheimer’s fundraiser!

Big thanks to Debby, and everyone at The Sarasota Eagles who helped with the event.
My cheeseburger was delicious. Like Gid said, when your burger is shaped like the state of Oklahoma, it’s going to be a good burger.
Thanks to my new friend Tina who offered me some Jack Daniel’s…err…cough syrup for my sore throat.
Hello to Vince aka Houdini…may we not be working at the same time some day!

And most of all…a big thank you to Melody…your story of honesty was music to my ears (and wallet)!
Of course…I had to tip Gid extra for that “where the hell is she” moment.

Palm Harbor, Florida

Snapper’s Comedy Grill
Palm Harbor, Florida
January 30th & 31st, 2009

Snapper’s Comedy Grill has a shorter tradition of comedy, but each time I’ve performed there the gig has been memorable. Before the renovations, the only thing separating the comedy club from the bar was a curtain. You could hear the TV’s and the patrons in the bar screaming obscenities at the basketball game during open mic, while at the same time a guy from Naples, with slicked back hair, white socks and sandals was telling his favorite poopie jokes. One night, the local hottie, Angelia, took a liking to fellow comedian Steve Baird, and she loudly flirted with him through my set. Just a week earlier, I saw Angelia do the same thing with another comic, Johnny O. Only she hit on Johnny O while her date (not Steve, but some other guy) went to the restroom. When he came out, she was all over Johnny O. The other guy patiently waited until Angelia was done “prospecting for new business.” But I think my favorite Snapper’s moment, was when Steve Baird took the stage with a cigarette, and he blew smoke came out of his ears. He didn't mean to...it just happened.

The owners of Snapper’s Comedy Grill are Egyptian, which is about as close to Lebanese as I’m going to get in Florida. I think of the owners, Sherif and Nabil (Nabil pictured at top), as my cousins. New to the family was Bob, the sound guy with tons of comedy club experience. And of course there is the Emmy nominated actor, Artie Fletcher, who was quick to point out that I have "a nice rack." He is the first Emmy nominated actor to admire my rack.

I got an email a few days before the show from a woman named Candi Stripe. She was taking Artie’s comedy class, and was debuting her stand up with a co-worker the weekend I was working. Candi – ironically – was born in Hershey, PA. I was looking forward to meeting Candi, who in real life is a dispatcher for the local sheriff’s office.

We did 3 shows, one Friday, two on Saturday, and they were all great shows. Headliner Keith Purnell (above) was very funny, in a white way. I wrote that, because we talked about him doing traditionally “white” material for these shows, while admitting he didn’t know how to “Soulja Boy.” (And if you’ve seen my show, you know I Soulja Boy, uh huh.) One of the shows I got a partial standing ovation. I made sure I sent a text message to The Disgruntled Clown about it. (The Disgruntled Clown is a headliner that I work with quite a bit.) We did a show in Dothan, Alabama last September, and I got a standing ovation there. I remind him about it, every time I see him. Sometimes I casually bring it up in conversation. We could be talking about bowling, and I’ll say “You know, getting a strike feels just as good as when I got that standing ovation in Dothan, Alabama on September 16th. Oh that’s right. You were the headliner that night, and I was featuring!” Other times, I’ll just start singing “Sweet Home Alabama.” He hates it.

Anyhow…here are the Thank yous…

Big thanks to Snapper’s Comedy Grill, Nabil, Sherif, and Bob. It was nice to be back!
Thanks to Artie for booking me...always fun hanging out with Uncle Artie.
Thanks to the wait staff…I always had a water when I needed one!
Keith Purnell – great working with you. Free Soulja Boy lessons next time, on me!

Thanks to Rose Mucklo Curry and friends. I went to high school with Rose and had no idea she was in Florida. She looks just as good as she did in high school. I hate that. (See pic below)

And big thanks to everyone who bought t-shirts and bumper stickers!

I’m already looking forward to my next performance…July 3rd & 4th. See you then!

Northport, FL

January 24th, 2009
I’ve been performing at the Olde World Restaurant (OWR) in Northport, since 2004 or 2005. The owners, Christine, Joe and Teresa, have put together a great restaurant and lounge, with remarkable food and service. I have yet to be there when the parking lot isn’t full. And they even manage to put on a pretty good comedy show!

I owe this gig to the very funny Valarie Storm, a Fort Myers based comedian turned bona fide road dog comedian. I headlined the room last August, and was stunned to see so many familiar faces this time! The show sold out 3 days prior…that makes me happy. Word is getting out The Princess is coming to town.

Gid Pool was the emcee. Gid and I worked together on the E-Man Nation Radio Show last year. He and his wife were also my sidekicks on a float in the Rubonia Mardi Gras. When I get the chance to bring an opener Gid is on the short list. Gid, as always, did a great job warming up the audience. Rock N Roll John kept them going…gotta love the story about the towels in the hotels…and then I took over. All was going well, until this elderly crazy woman, empowered with 6 rum and cokes, started shouting “You go girl!” “I love you!” The flood gates of weirdness opened. She’s a heckler, but she loves me. So I can’t be mean to her. But I should have! She put a huge dent in the momentum I had built. Some people just don’t get it.

Big hugs and thanks to Christine, Bart and Robin!
Thanks to all who attended the show…again…
And a Florida Howdy to Mary Jo & Bill from Mavis Winkle’s in Cleveland.

Lake Osprey Village Cabaret, Lakewood Ranch, FL

January 23rd, 2009
Lake Osprey Village Cabaret, in Lakewood Ranch, has got to be one of my favorite places to perform. The inside is intimate, cozy and snuggy-poo. I just like it. The show was sold out, and unfortunately some people were turned away. The LOV Cabaret management was a little nervous about the reservation situation. But I figured everything was going to be ok, when I heard manager Jack David panicking “We’ve run out of chairs!” Thankfully, The Lucky Pelican restaurant up the block had some chairs they could lend us.

Jack David, kicked off the show, and my dear friend Rock N Roll John told his famous stories. Just as he was about to close his set…one of the chairs broke underneath my good friend Danny. And then it broke again. Rock N Roll John pointed out that Danny, being the man he is, did not spill one drop of his drink. That’s a trooper! Then it was my turn…and I had a great show. Not easy to do when the audience is full of your friends! Other shows, that audience will most likely never see me again. But when the audience is my friends, the pressure is on. Because if I screw up…guess who is there to remind me about it every week, for the rest of my life? My friends.

Thanks to LOV Cabaret owner Norman Ferber and Manager Jack David. Without them, the show wouldn’t have been possible. And please check out the other events they have coming up: http://store6.geomerx.com/lakeospreyvillage/index.cfm?fuseaction=storepage&customPageID=26


Also – thanks to my dear peeps who came out and brought their friends and family:

Patty (Vinnie’s surrogate mom) and Danny, next time, look concerned when something happens to Danny

North River Veterinary – thanks for helping me with my assisted living facility for retired pets

Rotarian Goddess Terry Wells, next time bring Craig!

Snowbird Rotarian Jon Mathes

New Paul Harris Fellows Loreen Vickers & Ritchie Taylor

Rita from SCRABBLE – thanks for coming out again, and hopefully nothing traumatic happened one week after this show

Suncoast Gem Labs, Donna & Tom Seguin (who “loaned” me my first tiara)

Reverse Mortgage Gary and Quick Books Queen Susan Humphries, two of the first people I met when I moved to Manatee County

Yvette and Will Little, a simply green couple and their friend Christine

Wendy & Melissa - love the jewelry classes

Sue & Vicky my work out buddies at Revolutionary Fitness

Barbara Rose, my newest cultured friend from Sarasota

The nice couple who ended up sitting at the low table in the back behind the high tops – sorry about that!

To the elderly table of 4 that sat up front and was unable to break a smile during the entire show – I referred you to a travel agency, because you looked like those Easter Island statues.