March 24th - 28th, 2009
The Disgruntled Clown, Pete, Nidal, and POP!
Funny Stop, Cuyahoga Falls, OH
All I can say is WOW! What an experience to perform in your hometown…or really close to it! I grew up in Berea, Ohio, and Cuyahoga Falls (where Funny Stop Comedy Club is) reminded me a lot of Berea. Cuyahoga Falls is a suburban community, with well maintained 2 story homes. The neighborhood is delicately sprinkled with family owned pizza shops, groceries, dry cleaners, and taverns. The neighborhood taverns are the most fun, because they are full of the “locals.” “Locals” often have known each other since grade school. They’ll punch each out and knock over a table for an unfortunate lunch room incident that happened in 1982. Before you know, they're driving home together. Because you gotta look out for your own.
The comedy condo is located in between 2 such neighborhood taverns. I met a local, an Irish musician, who asked me where I was from, no less than 4 times in our 8 minute conversation. (An alcohol related question, obviously.) The poor bartender recently had his face stitched up due to an unfortunate bar brawl the previous night. Cuyahoga Falls sent 9 of their finest for a special guest appearance at 1AM to break up the fight. Not sure how I slept through that one.
The Funny Stop Comedy Club is owned and operated by Pete, wife Nidal, and brother Tony. Pete, Nidal, and Tony are also Lebanese…which means they had no choice but to adopt me. At least the half of me that’s Lebanese! I lost touch with whatever was left of my Lebanese family in 1977 with the death of my grandfather. The Italian family took over, but I have always had these unexplained cravings for kibbe, grape leaves and baklava, and unexplained aversions to tiramisu, cannolis, and cement trucks. But the thing I found cool about Funny Stop, is that it's a fine tuned comedy machine. The smallest show had 100 folks (Tuesday), and many of the nights I had difficulty finding a table so I could sell merchandise. The wait staff is very friendly. Carl, the bartender, was an absolute delight to get my bottled waters from. John does an exceptional job with the sound.
I opened for The Disgruntled Clown this week, and of course, as you would expect, he is an absolute trip to hang with. At times it is difficult. I've spent the last 3 years losing 85 lbs., and The Clown loves mayonnaise, and Chinese buffets. One of the Clown's fans, whom I started calling Ms. Nickels (for Nickel's bakery), brought him 3 grocery bags of doughnuts, bread, chocolate delights, and banana flip pastries. Of course I knew The Clown couldn't eat ALL of those powdered doughnuts by himself...I had to help him. But I must admit, the weirdest part is traveling with The Clown, is knowing he's heterosexual, yet has more make-up and wears higher heels than I do.
The highlight of the trip was a visit to the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame. I wish we could have spent more time there…but my mother had a little emergency involving a washing machine. She asked that we buy her a shop vac to help pick up the water, only to get there and discover she really needed a water extraction company…and her carpet removed…and holes punched in the walls so they could run air blowers for 4 days to dry them. My favorite exhibits at the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame are the costumes the entertainers wore. They are so cheezy up close, yet looked spectacular on TV.
As for The Funny Stop - all 7 shows were great. I can’t thank everyone enough for coming out to the show.
Here's some special thanks to the folks that came out:
My new best myspace and facebook friends forever: JoAnn Sparano, Liz Kwan, Brandi Godfrey, Andrea Bozigar, Scott Kail, Steve Buzash, Dana Millard Bryant, Angela Brown, Tonya Klausing-Kuzmik (who is holding out for panda, bless her), Kelly O’Connell, Jim Husseini, S.B., Ryan K.I., Ben Shriber, Steven, Chris Lahman, A.K. (Amy) Rowdy, Steven Lee, Crystal Kerr, Dana Bryant, Kevin Bryant, and Chooey. Thank you for your comments - and for not sending me stupid shit.
Big thanks to the emcees, Chuck Costanzo & Oliver Grey.
From The 1987 Graduating Class of Berea High School:
Any Anderson-Aylward (below), a diver turned audiologist, you look great, I hate that.
Sherry McCartney – Thanks for letting me sleep over your house, whatever grade that was.
You look great too. I hate that.
David Gubics (below), also a fellow alumni of Fairwood Elementary, thanks for coming and for being a good sport about Joe Hannum bailing on you. And thanks for sending me a picture of you wearing the shirt! I wish I had remembered to get your picture when you were there. Next time!
Nancy Wharton (below left), an organic cellist and ace of bass, glad you found a ride home, and a ride back to the club to get a shirt 2 days later.
Melissa Barber – the catalyst for my comedy career. Had I not seen you in Tony & Tina’s Wedding in Cleveland, I might not have found my way into comedy. I wish I had remembered to get your picture too.
Eric Fletcher (below, right) I can’t believe you drove up from Columbus. You are crazy. And another thanks for letting me crash at your place last fall. Remember when you made me cube steak in college? Sphinx!
From the three years I worked at Suburban Clock:
Alan Rue (below, left) Thank you for coming out. I still remember joking with you about putting mirrors on your shoes so you could look up my skirt…and how you were not at all interested. Were you working with me when that lady walked in and said "It smells like Dick's in here?" (The woman was referring to Dick's Bakery, next door to the clock shop.)
From my family:
Bob (below left) and Cousin Stephanie (below right), you’ve seen a lot of my shows over the years, and I can’t believe you STILL come out and support me. Tell Aunt Rose I will still love her, even if she doesn’t come to my show in Niles next week. In fact, let’s plan to discourage the entire family from coming. I don't think the Catholics can handle much more bad publicity.
Mom – thank you for flying down to Florida to help me with Mike and his health issues. Thank you for driving with me from Florida to Ohio – it was a fun trip. I still feel kind of bad you spent all that money on piano lessons so I can sing songs like “Winkie” and “Teabag.” Hey...at least I didn't do drugs.