Traci Kanaan

January 21st, 2010

2010-01-21T08:43:00.000-08:00

Where does the time go? I have in my schedule I'm supposed to blog, at least once a month. But I haven't. I keep getting caught up in my life. Had I blogged in April of 2009, you would have learned that I was recording my 1st comedy CD at McCurdy's Comedy Theater in Sarasota. Had I blogged in May, you would have learned my beloved cat of 15 years died. Had I blogged in June, you would have known a Florida booker bounced a check on me, made the check "good" with another bad check, paid me in cash, then shorted my pay. I won't be working for him any time soon. At least I had a good time at Snickerz Comedy Club, in Fort Wayne, Indiana! In July, you would have known I held a CD release party for my CD "Tinkle Tinkle Little Star," at McCurdy's Comedy Club. I even got to headline, and made the cover of Ticket magazine, published by the Sarasota Herald-Tribune. I'm one of two local comedians in the last 15 years to grace the cover of Ticket...Les McCurdy is the other. In August, you would have known I traveled to Texas with The Disgruntled Clown, and almost didn't get out of Mexico due to a little friendly banter with border patrol that went horribly wrong (The Clown did the talking, as you might imagine). In September, you would have known my husband and I took a much needed vacation to Mexico (and got out of the country just fine that time), and that I had a blast at Connxtions Comedy Club in Toledo. I even got to sign the buns at Tony Packo's, the famous hot dog place, made famous by Jamie Farr when he played Klinger on MASH. In October, you would have known I turned 40, and went to New York City for a long weekend. And had I blogged around Halloween, you would have known I had a great time at The Huntington Funny Bone in West Virginia. Had I blogged in November, you would have known that I took my mother to the Emergency Room and almost lost her. She's pulled through, but had I blogged, you would have known I spent Thanksgiving in the hospital. And had I blogged in December, you would have known how heart broken I was to cancel my dates at The Funny Stop in Cuyahoga Falls, and you would have known I celebrated my mom's birthday, and Christmas in the hospital too.

So I kicked off 2010 in Cocoa Beach at The International Palms Resort, performing comedy for Groucho's with Steve Mingolla, and an Elvis impersonator. My husband was with me this trip, and we enjoyed our 1am walk on the beach. The next morning we had breakfast at Waffle House: The All American Special with 2 eggs, scrambled, biscuit, bacon, hash browns smothered and covered, and a chocolate chip waffle. I had broken my New Year's Resolution to lose weight by 8:42am.

January 9th, I performed in Cocoa Village, and a really cute place called Cafe Unique/Amish Deli. It just so happened to be 35 degrees that night...and it just so happened Cafe Unique used to be a car dealership, that was beautifully decorated, but lacked HEAT. So it was about 35 degrees inside as well. Already fighting a cold, I performed anyway and got sicker...oh well! I opened for John Rathbone, an Ohioan, who was just as dismayed as I was that the coldest venue he'd ever performed in was in Florida!

January 14-16th I worked with John Rathbone again. January 14th was in Coconut Creek Seminole Casino, a huge tent. The buffet was great, I had pear stuffed pork loin and macaroni and cheese. I love macaroni and cheese. I once paid $15 for a plate of macaroni and cheese at Bern's Steakhouse in Tampa, I love my mac and cheese. Anyhow, the show went okay, not my best, not my worst. January 15th I was back at The International Palms Resort on Cocoa Beach (same place as New Year's), and had a killer show. January 16th I performed at The Monterey Bistro in Stuart. I had a great set (and killer pizza afterwards). I even had a heckler! I was performing my Wonderful Tonight parody, when I heard this lady laughing when I knew I hadn't sung a punchline. I stopped the song and asked "What's so funny?" She says, "What's funny is that I haven't heard a funny thing all night!" I said, "You can leave, bitch!" Then I announced to the audience that I would dedicate this next song to her..."Oh What A Dyke." She kept quiet after that, but did complain to the booker how I wasn't funny. Weird, I sold a bunch of t-shirts and CD's after the show, which is a good indicator of how funny I really was.

My mom is still in rehab and continues to get better. And perhaps when I blog the next time, I'll have a lot more to say. Because my mom may be moving in with us. Pray for mojo.

A Funny Stop in Cuyahoga Falls, OH

2009-03-30T18:48:00.001-07:00

March 24th - 28th, 2009

The Disgruntled Clown, Pete, Nidal, and POP!

Funny Stop, Cuyahoga Falls, OH

All I can say is WOW! What an experience to perform in your hometown…or really close to it! I grew up in Berea, Ohio, and Cuyahoga Falls (where Funny Stop Comedy Club is) reminded me a lot of Berea. Cuyahoga Falls is a suburban community, with well maintained 2 story homes. The neighborhood is delicately sprinkled with family owned pizza shops, groceries, dry cleaners, and taverns. The neighborhood taverns are the most fun, because they are full of the “locals.” “Locals” often have known each other since grade school. They’ll punch each out and knock over a table for an unfortunate lunch room incident that happened in 1982. Before you know, they're driving home together. Because you gotta look out for your own.

The comedy condo is located in between 2 such neighborhood taverns. I met a local, an Irish musician, who asked me where I was from, no less than 4 times in our 8 minute conversation. (An alcohol related question, obviously.) The poor bartender recently had his face stitched up due to an unfortunate bar brawl the previous night. Cuyahoga Falls sent 9 of their finest for a special guest appearance at 1AM to break up the fight. Not sure how I slept through that one.

The Funny Stop Comedy Club is owned and operated by Pete, wife Nidal, and brother Tony. Pete, Nidal, and Tony are also Lebanese…which means they had no choice but to adopt me. At least the half of me that’s Lebanese! I lost touch with whatever was left of my Lebanese family in 1977 with the death of my grandfather. The Italian family took over, but I have always had these unexplained cravings for kibbe, grape leaves and baklava, and unexplained aversions to tiramisu, cannolis, and cement trucks. But the thing I found cool about Funny Stop, is that it's a fine tuned comedy machine. The smallest show had 100 folks (Tuesday), and many of the nights I had difficulty finding a table so I could sell merchandise. The wait staff is very friendly. Carl, the bartender, was an absolute delight to get my bottled waters from. John does an exceptional job with the sound.

I opened for The Disgruntled Clown this week, and of course, as you would expect, he is an absolute trip to hang with. At times it is difficult. I've spent the last 3 years losing 85 lbs., and The Clown loves mayonnaise, and Chinese buffets. One of the Clown's fans, whom I started calling Ms. Nickels (for Nickel's bakery), brought him 3 grocery bags of doughnuts, bread, chocolate delights, and banana flip pastries. Of course I knew The Clown couldn't eat ALL of those powdered doughnuts by himself...I had to help him. But I must admit, the weirdest part is traveling with The Clown, is knowing he's heterosexual, yet has more make-up and wears higher heels than I do.

The highlight of the trip was a visit to the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame. I wish we could have spent more time there…but my mother had a little emergency involving a washing machine. She asked that we buy her a shop vac to help pick up the water, only to get there and discover she really needed a water extraction company…and her carpet removed…and holes punched in the walls so they could run air blowers for 4 days to dry them. My favorite exhibits at the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame are the costumes the entertainers wore. They are so cheezy up close, yet looked spectacular on TV.

As for The Funny Stop - all 7 shows were great. I can’t thank everyone enough for coming out to the show.

Here's some special thanks to the folks that came out:

My new best myspace and facebook friends forever: JoAnn Sparano, Liz Kwan, Brandi Godfrey, Andrea Bozigar, Scott Kail, Steve Buzash, Dana Millard Bryant, Angela Brown, Tonya Klausing-Kuzmik (who is holding out for panda, bless her), Kelly O’Connell, Jim Husseini, S.B., Ryan K.I., Ben Shriber, Steven, Chris Lahman, A.K. (Amy) Rowdy, Steven Lee, Crystal Kerr, Dana Bryant, Kevin Bryant, and Chooey. Thank you for your comments - and for not sending me stupid shit.

Big thanks to the emcees, Chuck Costanzo & Oliver Grey.

From The 1987 Graduating Class of Berea High School:
Any Anderson-Aylward (below), a diver turned audiologist, you look great, I hate that.
Sherry McCartney – Thanks for letting me sleep over your house, whatever grade that was.
You look great too. I hate that.

David Gubics (below), also a fellow alumni of Fairwood Elementary, thanks for coming and for being a good sport about Joe Hannum bailing on you. And thanks for sending me a picture of you wearing the shirt! I wish I had remembered to get your picture when you were there. Next time!

Deb Phillip-Speck (below right) a Princess in the 7th grade, fun memories there!
Nancy Wharton (below left), an organic cellist and ace of bass, glad you found a ride home, and a ride back to the club to get a shirt 2 days later.

From Otterbein College:
Melissa Barber – the catalyst for my comedy career. Had I not seen you in Tony & Tina’s Wedding in Cleveland, I might not have found my way into comedy. I wish I had remembered to get your picture too.

Eric Fletcher (below, right) I can’t believe you drove up from Columbus. You are crazy. And another thanks for letting me crash at your place last fall. Remember when you made me cube steak in college? Sphinx!

From the three years I worked at Suburban Clock:
Alan Rue (below, left) Thank you for coming out. I still remember joking with you about putting mirrors on your shoes so you could look up my skirt…and how you were not at all interested. Were you working with me when that lady walked in and said "It smells like Dick's in here?" (The woman was referring to Dick's Bakery, next door to the clock shop.)

From my family:
Bob (below left) and Cousin Stephanie (below right), you’ve seen a lot of my shows over the years, and I can’t believe you STILL come out and support me. Tell Aunt Rose I will still love her, even if she doesn’t come to my show in Niles next week. In fact, let’s plan to discourage the entire family from coming. I don't think the Catholics can handle much more bad publicity.

Mom – thank you for flying down to Florida to help me with Mike and his health issues. Thank you for driving with me from Florida to Ohio – it was a fun trip. I still feel kind of bad you spent all that money on piano lessons so I can sing songs like “Winkie” and “Teabag.” Hey...at least I didn't do drugs.

Why? Not Altamonte Springs, Florida

2009-02-22T18:04:00.000-08:00

February 20th & 21st, 2009

I LOVE the Why Not Lounge in Altamonte Springs, Florida. It’s an Orlando institution, been around for at least 20 years. Some of the regulars have been coming to the Why Not Lounge since their early 20’s…and still go there to party in their 40’s and beyond.
The regulars are very friendly, like family, looking out for each other. It’s a meat market…with benefits. And it’s the best place to watch people. I get more material from 10pm – 2am in this place in one night, than a month in Wal-Mart during Christmas season. I LOVE the Why Not Lounge!

Friday night show – I was on! One of my best shows ever. Saturday night show - I was seasick having to look back and forth between the right and left sides of the audience. A table of 20, seated right in the middle didn’t show, splitting the audience in two. It was still a great show, even though the audience was kind of tight with their laughs.

This weekend, I worked with seasoned headliner Mike Rivera (Everybody say Oooo!) who is high energy funny. Mike’s comedy career began when he entered an America’s Funniest Teacher Competition and won it. I work with Mike again in March and I'm looking forward to it!

Altamonte is all about the people…so here we go…

Mike Rivera, NO WAY! Great working with you again!

Katie Hughes, keep up the great work, and what a trouper stepping in as the emcee on Friday.

Mike Lemont, great job as emcee on Saturday. Thanks for letting me hang with your friends Friday night!

Uncle Ray, I love the Sanford and Son theme.

Richy Lala, great guest set. Is there a support group for Jewish comedians that beat box?

Why Not Lounge Staff ...thanks! You’re the best…and you know it.

Jodie, Happy Birthday, and glad to know you still wear my shirt when you spank people.

Tonya, you still rock and I still have you picture up on my myspace.

John the DJ, You get the “Best Musical Cues EVER” award.

Jerod and other Bouncer that does Thai martial arts, thanks again for helping me lug my shit all over the place.

Why? Not Patrons

Tammy and Martha – you rock! Thanks for letting me hang with you Friday night. And Martha, thanks for the pics! (pic above: Martha is wearing red, Tammy is the blond. Please send me the name of the mystery woman.)

Stu from Boca, good to see you again, glad you’re well and still loving comedy, but not enough to catch MY show.

Scott – nice to meet you and talk about flight simulators. I like your sense of humor, and hope you got back to NSB ok.

Darlene of The Millionaires, what a great show woman! You’re like my cousin, Paula. Love ya!

Rob B, the guitarist , you’re the first person ever to give me their email address on a napkin. Is your number 867-5309?

Kevin, I enjoyed talking with you. You’re a good soul, keep doing the right thing!

Marisa, you’re a sweet girl, and a lot of fun. Please try not to leave future parties being “carried away.”

Joe aka Jewish Fred Flintston, you’re a fun guy…in a mushroom kind of way.

Lorie, Brian, Zoraya, and Craig, nice meeting you, and thanks for the shot!

Lynn with the big boobs, you and I are headed to Vickie’s Secrets when I’m back in town.

Jeff and Donita, THANK YOU for coming out! Jeff and I used to ride the bus to school together. And it wasn’t the short yellow bus either.

Michelle J. – That which does not kill me…best wishes with your December discovery. Happy thoughts to you!

To EVERYONE who bought shirts – send me a picture of you wearing my shirt, and I’ll put it on my myspace! Send pics to tkpopfanclub@yahoo.com.

To EVERYONE who wants a monthly laugh – send me your email address and I’ll add you to my e-newsletter list, email address above.

And last but not least…

To Michael the engineer – sorry to cut our conversation short, but you were creeping me out.

I think that’s everybody…love ya, and thanks for a great weekend!

Traci

St. Augustine, Florida

2009-02-21T12:48:00.000-08:00

February 13th & 14th, 2009

Valentine’s Day in St. Augustine, Florida. Romantic, indeed!
This was the perfect combination of romance and comedy. I got to perfect my craft in a new (to me) comedy club, Gypsy Comedy Club, while spending quality time with my husband. It was a win-win for everyone!

Mike and I stayed at a beautiful Bed and Breakfast, the historic Inn on Charlotte.
Please check out their site at http://www.innoncharlotte.com/, and if you go, tell Lynne The Princess of Parodies sent you. Our room came with a dozen roses, thanks to my wonderful, thoughtful husband. We had been to St. Augustine 4 or 5 years ago and loved it, but didn’t get to The Fountain of Youth, which tops on our agenda.

Before I get any further, understand that I LOVE tourist traps. When I was growing up, my parents took vacations all over the U.S., and we always traveled in old cars, like a 1926 Dodge, or a 1936 Packard. I’ve been to Mt. Rushmore and Wall Drug in South Dakota. I rode to the top of Pike’s Peak in a 1935 Oldsmobile. When I was 15 or 16, I drove a 57 Ford convertible in the hills of West Virginia, ending up in New Vrindaban at Hare Krishna Temple of Gold. Florida is the Mecca for Tourist Traps…and I’ve hit a good many of them the last 13 years I’ve lived here: Weekie Wachee (mermaids!), Solomon’s Castle (a favorite, best use of recycling ever), Silver Springs (glass bottom boats), Dinosaur World (real live dinosaurs), and Disney (talking rats), etc. To me, tourist traps are what America is all about. Find that one special, unique thing about your place on this planet, exploit it, and then find a way to suck every last dollar out of someone’s pocket. Yes! God Bless America…that is what our country does best.

I love tourist traps. If you’re going to do it…do it well. Disney over does it, by putting mouse ears on the sewer covers. Dinosaur World under does it in a fun, cheesy, Velveeta way. It’s American, it’s family friendly, and gets the job done. But it's still cheese. The Fountain of Youth…they under do it, in a BIG WAY. It didn’t suck “ass,” but it did suck. Here’s what you get for $8, per person:

As you come in, you can’t help but notice the advertisements of Ponce De Leon on a SEGWAY. What better way to capture the flavor of how Ponce De Leon spent his first few days in Florida, way back in 1513, you know, riding around on his SEGWAY.

Once inside The Fountain of Youth, your tour of the first 3 buildings could have been conducted by actors or actresses in the costumes that Spanish Explorers wore when they first came here and pillaged. Oh no! You learn about Spanish exploration from a Florida cracker dressed in an embroidered polo and shorts. He runs from building to building, locking up each building behind him because God forbid, you end up the Planetarium and screw with the 7 Christmas tree lights that make up The Big Dipper. The second building houses The Globe of Discovery, hidden behind a middle school theater curtain. It’s a 2 stories high globe of the earth that turns with the help of a hamster wheel. You can’t help but admire the cutting technology used in this presentation; the laser pointer. We could smell Cracker Boy’s cigarette while we were watching “this presentation.” The last building contained The Fountain of Youth, with typical museum mannequins of Indians, adorned with genuine silk flowers. The Fountain of Youth water did not taste very good either. I've gotten more youth from a shot of Jaegermeister at a biker bar. The other 15 acres you’re free to explore on your own. You can torment any of the 6 peacocks or THE emu. You can also browse the gift shop, which had ashtrays that said “Alabama” on sale.

Nothing has been done with The Fountain of Youth tourist trap since it’s inception, except for some occasional lawn maintenance, and the low bid won that work too. St. Augustine just experienced a cold snap that killed several plants in the area. Not at The Fountain of Youth! There was no landscaping, so what could possibly die? The Fountain of Youth could have made it up to us with the live cannon firing…
but alas…they didn't have the balls.

The Gypsy Comedy Club! Great food, great people, great laughs! Over the years, several comics have told me what a great club Gypsy is, and they were right. The food is delicious! The Friday night show was a little out there…but Saturday my little Valentine love birds came to have a good time and what a show it was! I was fortunate enough to work with comedy veterans Peter Hefty and Justin again. He’s such a pro, and always very encouraging and helpful. Hope we work together again soon.

Traci with Justin and Peter Hefty

Jim, Jackie, Traci and Hala

Thanks to Gypsy Comedy Club:
Jim and Hala, my long lost Italian/Lebanese sister – thank you!
Deon (Jackie’s husband) – thanks for your help with the sound!
Jackie, YOU are the Glitter Goddess, and my new idol!
Jackie’s family – thank you for everything and supporting Jackie like you do
Susie – great job getting all those people seated Saturday night
Amanda, Mary Kay, Nick, Marlena, and Shauna – best waitstaff and bartenders ever. Thank you for all you do (and I hope I didn’t forget anybody!)

Shout outs to:
Andre Holloway – great seeing you again, best of luck in Rochester
Lori – thanks for the drink, glad you loved the show
Nikki – you are my other long lost sister, wish I could wear gold like you

Nikki (left), Lori (right)

Our new friends we made at the Inn on Charlotte:
Lynne at The Inn – loved breakfast…thanks so much for a great time!
Judye, Judye’s sister and husbands – hope you got back to TN safely (please email me your names), and Judye – best of luck on those bracelets
Sarah and Nancy – nice meeting you! Have fun camping! Remember no A.C., no Traci
James and Michelle from Orange park, (if I forgot your names, please correct me) and make sure you tell everyone you sleep with famous people

And the biggest thanks goes to Mike, my husband...who wrapped cables, did sound, took pictures, ties up all the loose ends, and is otherwise a really good sport about this whole comedy business. My husband is a pilot, so I touched up this photo from Mission de Nombre de Dios and Shrine of Our Lady of Milk and Cookies and dedicated this to him.

Please welcome St. Aeronca, The Patron Saint of Air Traffic Control

Sarasota Eagles

2009-02-17T18:59:00.000-08:00

February 11th, 2009

To show just how slowly things can move in comedy…I did a show at B.C.’s Recovery Room in Sarasota on May 1st, 2008. I did really well, sold some shirts, thought nothing else of it other than I had a great show and met some great people. October 24th, I get an email on my blackberry from a woman named Debby who saw me at B.C.’s Recovery Room in May, thought I was funny, and wondered if I’d help out with a fundraiser for Alzheimer’s…in February of 2009. I’m always a little skittish about doing charity work. If you’ve seen my show – it’s not a post-urban pottie mouth show, but it’s definitely not for kiddies either. I always have to run through my checklist when I take on non-comedy club work: 1) Where is the venue? 2) Do I need to bring sound? 3) Will all children be in another building, in another county? No problems, so I took the gig and asked comedian friend Gid Pool to emcee and feature.

In the months preceding the gig, I’m healthy, I exercise, I take care of myself. But the night before the gig, I start having flu and cold like symptoms. I take 2000 mg of Vitamin C every 2 hours, Emer-Gen-C shots whenever I get a sore throat. I rest all day, plenty of fluids including a pitcher of water before the gig – and I’m good enough to go.

Debby kindly pays me before the gig. I put the money in my back pocket, and forget about it. Show time comes, and when Gid is onstage, I run back to the rest room to change into my princess outfit. When I come out, I reach into my pants pocket to pull out the money, and it’s not there.

I run back into the restroom…the money isn't there. Debby sees me panicking, and I finally break down and tell her I can’t find the money. We’re in the restroom pouring through my stuff…when Gid calls my name to come on stage. I don’t hear him.

I finally tell Debby I’ll worry about the money later. I reappear from the restroom, and hear Gid say “There’s Traci!” Once I’m on stage, I forget about the money – it’s all about the audience. I put everything I had into the show…and it was a great show!

While I’m on stage, Debby continued looking for the money. She asked the bartender is anyone turned in some money, and the bartender said a woman found some money, but wouldn’t say how much. Debby got it straightened out right away…and once she did she tried to hold up the money so I’d know she found it. Of course, I didn’t see her…
When I got off stage, Debby introduces me to Melody, the honest soul who reported finding the money. Whew! What a relief. So…the moral of the story is…remember to put your money in a safe place at an Alzheimer’s fundraiser!

Big thanks to Debby, and everyone at The Sarasota Eagles who helped with the event.
My cheeseburger was delicious. Like Gid said, when your burger is shaped like the state of Oklahoma, it’s going to be a good burger.
Thanks to my new friend Tina who offered me some Jack Daniel’s…err…cough syrup for my sore throat.
Hello to Vince aka Houdini…may we not be working at the same time some day!

And most of all…a big thank you to Melody…your story of honesty was music to my ears (and wallet)!
Of course…I had to tip Gid extra for that “where the hell is she” moment.

Palm Harbor, Florida

2009-02-12T06:47:00.000-08:00

Snapper’s Comedy Grill
Palm Harbor, Florida
January 30th & 31st, 2009

Snapper’s Comedy Grill has a shorter tradition of comedy, but each time I’ve performed there the gig has been memorable. Before the renovations, the only thing separating the comedy club from the bar was a curtain. You could hear the TV’s and the patrons in the bar screaming obscenities at the basketball game during open mic, while at the same time a guy from Naples, with slicked back hair, white socks and sandals was telling his favorite poopie jokes. One night, the local hottie, Angelia, took a liking to fellow comedian Steve Baird, and she loudly flirted with him through my set. Just a week earlier, I saw Angelia do the same thing with another comic, Johnny O. Only she hit on Johnny O while her date (not Steve, but some other guy) went to the restroom. When he came out, she was all over Johnny O. The other guy patiently waited until Angelia was done “prospecting for new business.” But I think my favorite Snapper’s moment, was when Steve Baird took the stage with a cigarette, and he blew smoke came out of his ears. He didn't mean to...it just happened.

The owners of Snapper’s Comedy Grill are Egyptian, which is about as close to Lebanese as I’m going to get in Florida. I think of the owners, Sherif and Nabil (Nabil pictured at top), as my cousins. New to the family was Bob, the sound guy with tons of comedy club experience. And of course there is the Emmy nominated actor, Artie Fletcher, who was quick to point out that I have "a nice rack." He is the first Emmy nominated actor to admire my rack.

I got an email a few days before the show from a woman named Candi Stripe. She was taking Artie’s comedy class, and was debuting her stand up with a co-worker the weekend I was working. Candi – ironically – was born in Hershey, PA. I was looking forward to meeting Candi, who in real life is a dispatcher for the local sheriff’s office.

We did 3 shows, one Friday, two on Saturday, and they were all great shows. Headliner Keith Purnell (above) was very funny, in a white way. I wrote that, because we talked about him doing traditionally “white” material for these shows, while admitting he didn’t know how to “Soulja Boy.” (And if you’ve seen my show, you know I Soulja Boy, uh huh.) One of the shows I got a partial standing ovation. I made sure I sent a text message to The Disgruntled Clown about it. (The Disgruntled Clown is a headliner that I work with quite a bit.) We did a show in Dothan, Alabama last September, and I got a standing ovation there. I remind him about it, every time I see him. Sometimes I casually bring it up in conversation. We could be talking about bowling, and I’ll say “You know, getting a strike feels just as good as when I got that standing ovation in Dothan, Alabama on September 16th. Oh that’s right. You were the headliner that night, and I was featuring!” Other times, I’ll just start singing “Sweet Home Alabama.” He hates it.

Anyhow…here are the Thank yous…

Big thanks to Snapper’s Comedy Grill, Nabil, Sherif, and Bob. It was nice to be back!
Thanks to Artie for booking me...always fun hanging out with Uncle Artie.
Thanks to the wait staff…I always had a water when I needed one!
Keith Purnell – great working with you. Free Soulja Boy lessons next time, on me!

Thanks to Rose Mucklo Curry and friends. I went to high school with Rose and had no idea she was in Florida. She looks just as good as she did in high school. I hate that. (See pic below)

And big thanks to everyone who bought t-shirts and bumper stickers!

I’m already looking forward to my next performance…July 3rd & 4th. See you then!

Northport, FL

2009-02-01T17:44:00.000-08:00

January 24th, 2009
I’ve been performing at the Olde World Restaurant (OWR) in Northport, since 2004 or 2005. The owners, Christine, Joe and Teresa, have put together a great restaurant and lounge, with remarkable food and service. I have yet to be there when the parking lot isn’t full. And they even manage to put on a pretty good comedy show!

I owe this gig to the very funny Valarie Storm, a Fort Myers based comedian turned bona fide road dog comedian. I headlined the room last August, and was stunned to see so many familiar faces this time! The show sold out 3 days prior…that makes me happy. Word is getting out The Princess is coming to town.

Gid Pool was the emcee. Gid and I worked together on the E-Man Nation Radio Show last year. He and his wife were also my sidekicks on a float in the Rubonia Mardi Gras. When I get the chance to bring an opener Gid is on the short list. Gid, as always, did a great job warming up the audience. Rock N Roll John kept them going…gotta love the story about the towels in the hotels…and then I took over. All was going well, until this elderly crazy woman, empowered with 6 rum and cokes, started shouting “You go girl!” “I love you!” The flood gates of weirdness opened. She’s a heckler, but she loves me. So I can’t be mean to her. But I should have! She put a huge dent in the momentum I had built. Some people just don’t get it.

Big hugs and thanks to Christine, Bart and Robin!
Thanks to all who attended the show…again…
And a Florida Howdy to Mary Jo & Bill from Mavis Winkle’s in Cleveland.

Lake Osprey Village Cabaret, Lakewood Ranch, FL

2009-02-01T12:57:00.000-08:00

January 23rd, 2009
Lake Osprey Village Cabaret, in Lakewood Ranch, has got to be one of my favorite places to perform. The inside is intimate, cozy and snuggy-poo. I just like it. The show was sold out, and unfortunately some people were turned away. The LOV Cabaret management was a little nervous about the reservation situation. But I figured everything was going to be ok, when I heard manager Jack David panicking “We’ve run out of chairs!” Thankfully, The Lucky Pelican restaurant up the block had some chairs they could lend us.

Jack David, kicked off the show, and my dear friend Rock N Roll John told his famous stories. Just as he was about to close his set…one of the chairs broke underneath my good friend Danny. And then it broke again. Rock N Roll John pointed out that Danny, being the man he is, did not spill one drop of his drink. That’s a trooper! Then it was my turn…and I had a great show. Not easy to do when the audience is full of your friends! Other shows, that audience will most likely never see me again. But when the audience is my friends, the pressure is on. Because if I screw up…guess who is there to remind me about it every week, for the rest of my life? My friends.

Thanks to LOV Cabaret owner Norman Ferber and Manager Jack David. Without them, the show wouldn’t have been possible. And please check out the other events they have coming up: http://store6.geomerx.com/lakeospreyvillage/index.cfm?fuseaction=storepage&customPageID=26

Also – thanks to my dear peeps who came out and brought their friends and family:

Patty (Vinnie’s surrogate mom) and Danny, next time, look concerned when something happens to Danny

North River Veterinary – thanks for helping me with my assisted living facility for retired pets

Rotarian Goddess Terry Wells, next time bring Craig!

Snowbird Rotarian Jon Mathes

New Paul Harris Fellows Loreen Vickers & Ritchie Taylor

Rita from SCRABBLE – thanks for coming out again, and hopefully nothing traumatic happened one week after this show

Suncoast Gem Labs, Donna & Tom Seguin (who “loaned” me my first tiara)

Reverse Mortgage Gary and Quick Books Queen Susan Humphries, two of the first people I met when I moved to Manatee County

Yvette and Will Little, a simply green couple and their friend Christine

Wendy & Melissa - love the jewelry classes

Sue & Vicky my work out buddies at Revolutionary Fitness

Barbara Rose, my newest cultured friend from Sarasota

The nice couple who ended up sitting at the low table in the back behind the high tops – sorry about that!

To the elderly table of 4 that sat up front and was unable to break a smile during the entire show – I referred you to a travel agency, because you looked like those Easter Island statues.

Daytona Beach, FL

2009-01-17T22:05:00.000-08:00

I left Friday afternoon to head for my Bonkerz shows at The Playa Resort in Daytona Beach, Florida. I was last at this club in July or August, and was happy to see just about all the staff still there. I got set up, caught up with the staff, then headed to my very frigid hotel room. The heater wasn't working, and after 3 calls to the front desk, James the maintenance guy determined the heater was definitely broke (no shit) and hooked me up with a much nicer room. My new room had a heater that worked, a kitchenette-let, AND an easy bake oven. Friday night, show time was 9pm. 9:10pm, and the emcee had not shown up. At 9:15pm, the management made the decision that the emcee was probably not going to show up (no shit). Frank (comedian trainee) made the brief announcement "please welcome to the stage, Traci," and it was time to get the party started. Friday night's show was good, considering I started with an audience that was stone cold, I mean stoned or old, and demographically scattered all over the board. There was something for everyone, but not everything for everyone.

Saturday, I researched some things to do in Daytona, that didn't include shopping. I found a museum in Ormond Beach, that was open from 12-4pm, and admission was $2.00. Had I actually gone, I could have told you whether or not the admission was worth it or a rip-off. Unfortunately, minutes before I was set to leave, I received an email from a booker that set me off, and straightening out the mess consumed the next 2 hours of my time. When the tough gets pissed, the pissed goes shopping...so I headed off to Imagine Beads http://www.imaginebeads.com/. Imagine Beads is a great bead shop, once you find it. My Garmin, obviously didn't want me to go there, judging by how many times I had to "make a U-turn" under I-95 (6 times). I hate you Garmin. $67.10 later...I had several pieces of "mystery metal" in my possession. I have no idea what I'm going to do with, but I HAD to have it.

On my way home, I got pissed at myself for not getting enough sleep, not eating right, not working out, allowing a booker to piss me off for 2 hours, AND for spending $67.10 I didn't need to spend. It was at this point I realized I was getting a little pissy, and decided a nap would be the best use of my time.

When I woke up, I decided I needed sushi. I asked my Garmin where the nearest sushi restaurant was, and it took me straight to one that was no longer open. The next closest one was Tokyo Japanese Steakhouse and Sushi Bar. http://tokyoormondbeach.com/ My sushi chef, made me the 2 most delicious rolls I've had in a long time. The Golden Gate Roll, and the Eel Tempura Crunch roll were to die for. If you go there, ask for Aji (which is Japanese for "horse mackeral" ironically) and Sarah (which is American for "really good waitress"), and tell them Traci the comedian sent you. However, do not go on your birthday! The Happy Birthday song just doesn't sound quite right with Japanese drums as accompaniment. But I will say, it's no where near as annoying as those birthday songs at chain restaurants where the whole staff claps and chants some post-war "I don't know what I been told, but this jerk here is getting old."

Rested for 2 Saturday shows, I was pleased to meet Genesis, our emcee for the evening. Genesis relocated to Orlando for family, but is a bona fide headliner with 24 years comedy experience, doing the club owners a favor by filling in. Our 8pm audience was ready to have fun, and everyone had a killer show! The 10pm audience was riddled with the usual stoned, drunk, high, and/or tired people - so they were a little tougher to keep entertained but we worked hard and got the job done. All in all, it was a great week. Good people, good comedy.

I'd like to thank my fans: the guy who has seen me at least 3x - once in NSB, and 2x in Daytona; Sherry the nurse from Indiana and her college age son who saw both shows; and to the hair stylist and her husband who prepares documents from rich people...send me those pics! I'll post them! To the lovely lady, who was there with her mother and aunt and bought me the shot: thanks! You ladies made the show!

I'd also like to thank the staff:

Montana: lose that zero and get you a hero. You're adorable, and something better will come along quickly.

Kara: have fun with the new truck, and best of luck selling the Sebring. Nice meeting your "sugar daddy." Hope he recovers from his music addiction...I know I'm still in rehab.

Bill: thanks for pouring me the stiff H20 drinky-poos.

Joey: turn your hat around...you've got to be in your 40's.

Paul the GM: you look a LOT like Donny Osmond. Please have purple socks for my next visit.

Paulie aka Chachie: thanks for being my sound guy! You're the best.

Frank aka Comedian Trainee: I'm not giving you Artie Fletcher's phone number. Quit begging.

Paulie aka Chachie

Frank, Comedian Trainee

Genesis and Shay

Joey and Donny Osmond

Montana, Bill and Kara

Ocala, FL

2009-01-11T07:53:00.000-08:00

January 9th & 10th, 2009

This trip is the 3rd time I've worked the Bonkerz at Club Zanzabar in Ocala, FL. Each time gets better and better. This run, I opened for veteran Jeff Barrett (pictured above), whose TV credits include an appearance on America's Most Wanted. Jeff and I met about a year ago at a competition in Port Charlotte, FL. He's been in comedy 20 years, but Jeff is also a successful artist and graphic designer outside of comedy. And unlike many comics that rely solely on the food that comedy clubs serve or Chinese buffets, Jeff is vegan. I just so happen to love art and have an interest in eating healthy, so I was looking forward to working with Jeff.

Club Zanzabar and Midnight Rodeo are part of a 2 club entertainment complex in Ocala, FL. Club Zanzabar is the "hip-hop-lights-flashing-pulse-grinding-music-so-loud-it-affects-your-heartbeat" kind of club. Each waitress weighs well under 100 lbs, and isn't wearing much more than a napkin and shoes. Midnight Rodeo is your typical country dance bar, with "faux rawhide" covered mechanical bull in the corner, and faux line dancing cowboys.

Friday night's show - the crowd was awesome! I had a great set. Jeff lost track of time and did an hour and 20 minutes. Miss Gold Liberty and friends started sending beers to the stage, and Jeff was a master at working with the audience. We sold enough t-shirts to buy ourselves a few drinks...and we ended up closing down the bar. We were hungry, so Jeff and I hopped in my car. I punched "Denny's" into my Garmin, which took us right to a Waffle House. Oh well...I enjoyed my chocolate chip waffle and my "splattered and spreaded" hashbrowns. Unbeknownst to Jeff, on my wishlist for Christmas, was a "WH" visor. Every Waffle House I've been to, I ask for a visor. 5 Waffle Houses, 5 NOs. But persistence paid off! This Waffle House had a 2008 Christmas Waffle House Hat, of which now I am the proud owner.

Saturday morning, I was wired at 7am after less than 3 hours of sleep. I spent the morning writing in my journal, playing games on pogo.com, and making jewelry. In the afternoon, Jeff and I headed for lunch at Mother Earth Market. I love trying new foods, and figured I'd see what the vegans had to offer. We had vegan stroganoff (no relation to Bernie Madeoff) made with vegetable protein that sounds like "Satan," spinach noodles, apples and raisins, and a gluten free chocolate chip cookie. It was tasty, I must admit. And I didn't feel sluggish afterwards even though I ate a big meal. Afterwards, we hit the downtown Ocala area and wandered through some shops and an art gallery. After a nap, I headed back for a second show.

The Saturday show didn't have as many people as the first show, but they came to party and have a good time! I had another great show, and Jeff only did an hour. 2 Genesee drinking couples from Buffalo, NY came to the show an hour late, demanding that Jeff "say something funny." Wrong thing to say to Jeff - these folks became part of the show pretty quick. The loud Buffalo NY guy was a frustrated open mic-er, and insisted on trying out new material during Jeff's show. I hated to leave this morning. And obviously my Garmin did too. I punched "Starbucks" into my Garmin for a mint java chip frappacino, and it took me right to Target. I hate you, Garmin.

All in all, it was another great comedy run! I'd like to thank everyone at Club Zanzabar: Phil the manager (pictured above) runs a tight ship; Gabe who ran sound for me; Susanna the waitress (hope you sold those jello shots); Amy the bartender (hope you and the girls had fun in Orlando Saturday night); the really big guy who helped me break down my keyboard and carried my amplifier both nights; 6'9" (one tall MoFo); and the really nice restroom attendant who offered me 2 pieces of gum (one for each ass cheek) so I wouldn't slide off my bar stool. I'd also like to thank Nuclear Power Plant guy who bought me a drink, the flirtacious Michelle who asked me to dance, and the lovely couple who bought Jeff and I a drink on Satuday night (hope your wife found that extra girl for your threesome). I can't forget Scott the pharmacist, who saw both shows in their entirety. I wish everyone would support live comedy like you! I can't forget a very special thank you to the nice Ocala police officer Jeff and I met on the way to the Denny's we never did find. He could have ruined our great weekend in a matter of minutes, but he chose to support live comedy too. Thanks to Art at the Golden Palms Hotel (he thought I was "hot," God bless him), thanks to Bonkerz Comedy for the gig, and thanks to Jeff Barrett for being so cool to hang out with. Check out Jeff's site at http://www.grinnandbarrett.org/

Tennessee Tramp at McCurdy's

2009-01-11T07:19:00.000-08:00

Thursday, January 8th, 2009

The BIG Florida State game was on tonight, and Les McCurdy looked through his roladex looking for a comic that wouldn't care if he/she missed the game or not. Traci Kanaan doesn't watch football...bingo! So I got to host the show Thursday night for Queen of the Trailer Park, Janet Wiliams aka The Tennessee Tramp. I heard all good things about Janet over the years, but our comedy paths had not yet crossed.

Thursday is open mic at McCurdy's, and there were 4 open mic-ers scheduled to perform. 3 female, 1 male. Thankfully, the male open mic-er didn't show...not because he's male...but because he's just a shitty open mic-er. He's filthy, and has to drop his pants to get a laugh. The 3 women open mic-ers are relatively new to the business, and working through some material. The audience was tight. The usual McCurdy's intro of upcoming comedians and the short movie "humor appetizer" was gone, due to a problem with the projector. So it was a quick music intro and a "please give it up for your host and emcee Traci Kanaan." I did my best I could before turning it over to the open mic portion, but the audience was not willing to give up laughs for free. First up: Cindy, the recovering middle school teacher, did all right. It'll get better Cindy. Keep working at it!

Second up: Long Island Mary is serious about this business, and started her own open mic at Linger Lodge in Bradenton for additional practice. She did well, and you will see more from Mary in the future.

Third up: Amy, who goosed me. Amy...well...had a little too much to drink, forgot her notes, forgot her routine - yet managed to stretch "drink when I say POT" to 6.5 minutes. Fortunately, Amy is cute and got away with it. Amy is naturally funny - and I hope to see her do material next time.

As for me - I did my usual show with 2 new parodies: Oh What a Dyke, and Bologna. Oh What a Dyke went well. Bologna needs work. My closer did the job - and prepared the audience for The World Famous Tennessee Tramp.

I loved Janet. What an inspiration! Janet does a good show. She's extremely sharp and professional, works the business, and does it right. With my background promotional products, I could tell by the quality of what she sold that she has given this some thought. She encouraged all of us women comics to follow our heart, and be prepared for the comedy industry to treat us women like shit. I had to laugh when she sold her Pussy Power bumper stickers to one of the guys at the show and said "You're never going to get this much pussy for 2 bucks." The Princess of Parodies, humbled by The Queen of the Trailer Parks. Hope to work with you again, Janet! And I hope to see Cindy, Mary and Amy really soon.

Nude Year's Resolutions

2009-01-04T16:59:00.000-08:00

Ok - my new year's resolution is to blog more often about my shows. And what better show to start with - then my first show of the year at Caliente Resort...a nudist resort north of Tampa. Unfortunately - there will be no pictures of this show to post - as cameras are not allowed at the resort (at least that's what the signs said).
Before I get to the nitty titty...I meant gritty...let me mention a few things I had to think about before the show.
I posted a few "updates" on facebook and myspace: Traci is performing at a nudist resort. I guess I can't pretend that everyone is naked. I got a few comments - mostly about the material I would glean from this experience, and how the people that go to nudist resorts are the ones you don't want to see naked anyway. My friend "Y" told me her parents attended a nudist colony, and that they commented one of their friends had dressed up for the evening. She wore earrings. I was told by the booker, Larry, that I was not to do jokes about "swingers." I had no idea nudists did not like monkeys or Tarzan. Fortunately, I don't have any monkey or Tarzan jokes - so that was easy. Peter Hefty, a seasoned comedy veteran and my co-headliner this evening seemed familiar with Mexican nudist resorts (I did not ask for details, and none were offered), and he knew that nudists prefer to be called naturalists. And last but not least - I worked with headliner, Joanne Pinnizotto, who years ago performed at a nudist resort and made the comment "do you know what jiggles when you laugh?"

Now, I get to the gig. The guard at Caliente's entrance was wearing clothes, an unsexy polo with unsexy dress pants. Hmm. We pull up to the entrance, and the young gentlemen working at the club house all wore the same unsexy attire. Hmm. The Clubhouse is exquisite and well done - this can not be a cheap place to live. But I'm thinking these people can afford it, because they sure aren't spending money on clothes! Or are they?
We unload and walk into the club, and everyone has clothing on. A woman walked by wearing a shear scarf with fringe. Her date wore a shirt and sport coat. No pants. But he appeared to sport a deliciously prepared banana hammock. And while I set up my gear - the audience arrived in various states of dress. Some with no shirts, some with no pants. One woman was wearing a "fish net" type covering which left little to the imagination.
There were beach towels draped over the bar stools, although many folks BYOT'd it (brought their own towel).
The stage was up high and in front of a dance floor - the folks were seated far enough away and in the dark that I couldn't be distracted by the stuff that jiggles when you laugh. And a good thing too - because they were ready to laugh! I had a blast! The folks at Caliente were all beautiful, smart, and most important - very comfortable in their own skin. Seeing Peter Hefty perform for the first time in several years was a treat too, and his show was the perfect icing on the cake. Thanks again Larry, Peter, and Caliente! Hope to see you again real soon. Traci

Mary DePinto

2008-10-27T09:48:00.000-07:00

Phone calls at 6:22am are never good. And the one I got this morning from my mother was no different. My grandmother passed away, at the age of 94. I got to have dinner with her 2 weeks ago, at my favorite Italian restaurant. She had her usual, chicken fingers and 5 sugar packets with a splash of coffee. She pushed her 4'7" frame around in a walker with the tennis balls on the legs. I made her a wire wrapped bracelet for Christmas, but I gave it to her before we went out to eat. I wanted her to enjoy it before Christmas. I'm so glad I did.

My grandmother was the oldest girl in her Italian family, and when her mother died when she was 9 or 10, it became her duty to raise the rest of the children in the family and take care of the house. None of the other girls in the family can get married until the oldest daughter gets married...so she got married a bit sooner than she probably wanted. After taking care of her brothers and sisters, she had 3 children of her own which she raised. And when they married and kids, she often babysat her grandchilren, my cousins. She saw each of her own 3 children get married, each of her 6 grandchildren get married, and got to hold all 6 of her great grandchildren. She lived for births, showers, christenings, weddings, and family Christmas parties. She lived for family.

Being as old as she was, she outlived a few members of her own family, including her husband, Frank; her eldest and only son Frank Jr; her son-in-law/my father George Kanaan; and several of her brothers and sisters.

I have so many good memories of my Grandmother:

Making home-made pasta with her. She would get upset because I turned the crank to fast.

When I ate the raw pasta dough (raw egg in it), she'd remind me that I was going to get "a belly-ache."

The "belly-ache."

Her plastic fruit on the kitchen table.

Her cavatelli and home-made sauce.

Playing in the cellar of her home (Italians don't have "basements.")

Her scrambled eggs - so fluffy and yellow.

Eating cereal out of the Fleishman margarine containers.

Eating my favorite cookies she made: the ones with clear glaze and colored ball sprinkles.

Peaches, the parakeet.

Peaches, the other parakeet.

The figurines on her end tables.

The bubble lights in the windows at Christmas.

Me telling my non-Catholic husband that my Grandma was going to ask if he was Catholic, and that he should ay "Yes."

When My Grandma did ask my husband if he was Catholic, he answered..."Traci told me to tell you "Yes."

Trying to explain to my grandmother that my husband was an "environmental consultant to the development industry." She didn't quite grasp it, so we left it at..."He works outside."

Her using a pipe fixture to clear the fluid out of her lungs. She reminded me of the caterpillar smoking the hookah in Alice in Wonderland.

Her hitting me, when I teased her about "smokin' the hookah." I had no idea she knew what I was talking about.

Me being surprised that she had a sense of humor. She laughed at some of my off-the-cuff quips.

Me being asked to come to Cleveland for Christmas - because it might be Grandma's last Christmas. This happened for at least 20 straight Christmases.

Giving my grandmother my bouquet at my wedding, because she had been married the longest.

Grandma...you will be missed. Rest in peace. At 94...you earned it.

The picture is of my cousin Stephanie, my Aunt Rose, my Grandmother, my mother, and myself on Mother's Day 2008.

Traci's Road Trip - Continued

2008-05-17T12:33:00.000-07:00

Thursday - Saturday, May 8th-10th

After Mammoth Cave, KY - it was on to Snickerz in Ft. Wayne, Indiana. I spent all day preparing my act, and getting ready for my big first TV appearance. I went to the club early to set up - and found out they cancelled the TV appearance. Bummer! That was the whole reason for the road trip! But I had the show of a lifetime that night. It was awesome! Friday and Saturday were much tougher...with the Saturday late show resulting in 8 drunk, self-centered, slutty, bitchy home health nurses getting kicked out of the show. The emcee started it, calling the one a fat porn star. I hate to admit it...but the description was accurate. And evidently they were still pissed the observation 15 minutes into my show. I was doing pretty good...then I just felt like I lost the audience. They were talking...I had to go after them. They were escorted out a few minutes later...with the audience cheering they had left. I loved meeting Kevin Ferguson, host of the TV show Night Shift. They liked me enough to book me again, for a taping of the TV show in October. And the waitstaff at Snickerz was great!

Sunday, May 11th

I left Fort Wayne for a 3 hour drive to Cleveland, where I spent Mother's Day with my mom, and had dinner with the rest of my family at my cousin Stephanie's house. My grandmother was looking especially well, considering she turns 95 next week!

Monday, May 12th

I began heading towards Lancaster, SC. I stopped for an evening in Princeton, West Virginia. Because I'm not wrapped real tight, I actually ate sushi there in West (by God) Virginia. If you've never been to West Virginia, you may not know that sushi isn't grown there. But the restaurant, Kimono's found a way to get it there fresh, because it was delicious! Oishi!

Tuesday, May 13th

The final stretch to Lancaster, SC. On the way I stopped in a place called JR's in Statesville, NC. JR's is like Big Lots on steriods! I found some puzzles in a tin for $5 each, work out videos for $4, and books on tape for $6. So much for my comedy winnings. Finally made it to Lancaster, SC, where I was welcomed with my name in lights...for the first time!

It was a great show (in spite of the birthday party crashers), and I met some really talented comics! Tony Boswell the comic who hosts the show at The Lancaster Tavern, placed 2nd in The Seattle International Comedy Competition. He's very, very funny!

Please check out his website: http://www.tonyboswell.com/

Tony Boswell, me, Reverend Drew, and Steve Fucile

Wednesday, May 14th

I woke up to an 8 hour drive to Orlando. My first show of 4 was in Clermont. My Garmin took me to a location that was no where near the club. I was a little late getting there, and had 30 minutes to set up my keyboard. And then...I had a car accident. Errr...and accident with my car. I slammed the trunk lid down...except my big nose was in the way. OUCH! And then...I realized I was bleeding. A lot. 20 minutes to show time. I got the bleeding under control, but still had a gash on my face, that could have easily been concealed with make up. Had I not left my make up bag in the hotel room. The show went ok, even though I looked like Gene Simmons in drag...but I was hurting. The staff gave me a rubber glove with ice in it for the trip home...a lovely parting gift.

Thursday, May 15th

I had not seen Mike in over a week and a half - the longest we have ever been apart in 12 years. I missed him dearly. I told him of my misadventure with car...and he came to see me in Orlando. It really cheered me up! We had a great time. Memorable moment - we were eating lunch at the Crazy Buffet. There were 2 men sitting next to us. One appeared to be a Jewish midget, the other a tall black man. The black man kept trying to engage the Jewish midget into a conversation with questions like, "Is The Green Lantern a member of the Justice League?" "Is Captain American a member of the Justice League?" Mike and I are hysterical. When they both left for another trip to the buffet, I started asking Mike "Is Wonder Woman part of the Justice League?" I wish I had the courage to ask what their connection to each other was. e-Harmony gone horribly wrong.

The show was in Sanford, FL at a place called Captain's Cove. My last visit there in August 2007 ended with a skinny drunk guy with a mullet cut launching a beer bottle at the headliner. With my recent nose injury, I was a little nervous about engaging the audience in conversation. However, I had a great show - and enjoyed working with funny man James Yon.

After the show, I headed back to the Holiday Inn in Altamonte Springs, home of the World Famous Why Not Lounge. This dance club is really fun, and is the #1 place for people watching in the world. There are several people there, that you could walk up to and say "The 80's called, and they want your shit back!" Any other meat market in the world, I'm about a 4. But there, I'm an 8.5! It's a good feeling.

Friday, May 16th

Lump day. I sat around in the hotel room, and rested. Just tired. The show was in The Why Not Lounge...and it was a really good show. Dexter Angry was the headliner. He made me laugh out loud! Doesn't happen much. I wonder if he's a member of the Justice League?

Traci Kanaan, Princess of Parodies and Road Warrior

2008-05-07T18:20:00.000-07:00

It is now Day 4 of my road trip...so allow me to recap:

Day 1 (May 4th, 2008): Drove 575 miles to Birmingham, AL. Al Ernst (fellow comedian and host of E-Man Nation radio show) got me a guest set at The Stardome, one of the nicest clubs I've ever performed in. Josh Blue was headlining, Mike Winfield featured. Since I was the guest set, I was first up and did a tight, very funny 7 minute set. They seemed impressed, and I think some really good things will come from this.

Day 2: (May 5th) Began driving north, not sure where I'd end up but had Mammoth Cave, KY on my mind. 5pm - I pulled off I-65 and I was at Mammoth Cave. I checked out the Mammoth Cave hotel, and decided to take them up on their buy 1 night, get the 2nd night 50% off. The Mammoth Cave Hotel was by no means the plushest fanciest place I've ever stayed. But it reminded me of every hotel I stayed at between 1974 and 1982. You know, those hotels you were happy to get to on those "Are we there yet?" vacations you take with your parents. Wi-fi was only available in the hotel lobby, since the hotel had not yet uncovered the mystery of how to get wi-fi into my personal hotel room. Sigh. So many great technological advances...and yet so few made their way to Mammoth Cave.

Day 3 (May 6th): On a whim, I signed up for The Grand Avenue cave tour, $24, 4 miles, 4.5 hours underground with 40+ strangers, and 4 teens asking "Are we there yet?" While they can't get wi-fi into my hotel room, they did figure out how to hard wire 4+ miles of cave with enough cable to light it. They even had phones, and a lunchroom in there. No wi-fi in my hotel room. I guess we all have our priorities. The tour, was awesome. Ranger Ron and Ranger Joel had great stories about the cave - mostly about how the cave owners would try to sabotage each other and lie to tourists to trick them into coming into their cave. "Mammoth Cave? I wouldn't go there unless you don't mind getting...tuberculosis..." "Mammoth Cave? It's not there anymore. The owner dynamited just this morning. But this cave over here you can go in..." My favorite story, was how the tour guides made extra money by letting you write your name on the cavern wall. You could pay them a fee, and your name would be there forever. And you can still pay the fee...if you don't mind everyone calling it "a federal offense." When we entered the cave, we were greeted by 2 little cave bats, Drack and Kula. Cute as can be...but all bats are when they're asleep!

Day 4 (May 7th): Took a walk through the Mammoth Cave woods. Saw where the Styx River (an underground river) met the Green River (the start of an above ground river). Saw 2 deer. I'm afraid of deer now after seeing "When Animals Attack." All I need is for my perfume Obsession to smell like Faun in Heat scent - and I got Bucks all over me, and none of them are from Tampa Bay. (Yeah, I'm not well, I know this and I deal.) After re-using the hotel lobby as my office, I hopped in the car not sure where I'd end up. I hoped to audition for a club in Louisville, only to find out minutes before I left they were doing improv that night and no one would be there to see me. So I drove, and made a few phone calls. A comedy angel suggested I head towards Indy, and within 10 minutes I had a hotel reserved for me in Greenwood, IN. I'll be performing at Oneliners in October, and enjoyed the tour of this beautiful club with a plane sticking out of the roof. Can't wait to come back here! Tomorrow, I head towards Ft Wayne, IN, where I'll work with headliner Steve Burr, and can be seen on Night Shift with Kevin Ferguson. It's all good!

Pasta, Hobby Lobby, & Kool Aid

2008-04-15T19:03:00.000-07:00

I ended up in Cleveland last month, impromptu trip. My Italian grandmother was very sick. She’s 94. If I cooked every night, I would think of her more often, because I have her pots and pans that she bought over 50 years ago. I once calculated that if she made pasta every Sunday for 50 years straight, those pots and pans would have seen 4.293 tons of flour, 35,908 tomatoes, and the eggs from 6902 chickens go through them. Sometimes even I’m surprised at just how complete my OCD is.

I had a great couple of shows in Ocala and Lady Lake last weekend. I love Club Zanzibar in Ocala. The bar maids wear outfits so skimpy that they make the girls at Hooters look like they're wearing mumus. I had a fun lunch with Tony Gaud, a Tampa headliner on his way. He was headlining at the other comedy club in Ocala that same weekend. I shared the stage with 2 great comics, Mike Allen and Sonya White. Mike Allen and I had a blast at The Hobby Lobby in Ocala. It's like a Michaels and Pier One Imports on STERIODS. Turning your spare bedroom into a meth lab? Everything you need is at The Hobby Lobby. On Sunday, I spent the day at Silver Springs, then headed to The Villages in Lady Lake. I liked Lady Lake, but I kept getting the feeling The Villages is one pitcher of Kool-Aid short of a cult. No less than 3 people REALLY wanted to tell me about The Villages, the world's largest retirement village and micro-economy (according to the local radio personality, who works for the radio station owned by The Villages). Hey Kool-Aid! Oh YEAH! The comedy club was emceed by The Godfather. I don't know his name, he's just The Godfather. Or Elvis. I wasn't sure. Sonya White, who does great impressions (though not a Godfather or Elvis impression), was taking a break from her Southern Fried Chicks tour. She's a real pro. I'm very seldom booked with other female comics, so working with her was a real treat.

This weekend I have a show at the East Village Cabaret which I’m looking forward to, followed by a show in Tallahassee with The Disgruntled Clown. Check out his website at http://www.disgruntledclown.com/

Next month – is a biggie. I travel to Fort Wayne, IN, thanks to Al Ernst, who I worked with on the radio show. A TV credit is in my future there, on Night Shift with Kevin Ferguson. Woohoo! I also have shows in Clermont, Sanford, Altamonte Springs, Lakeland, and Daytona. While I am looking forward to my adventures on the road, I know I will miss my husband, Mike, and my pets. Ok, I won't miss Fred, the psycho blue and gold macaw. And I won't miss that part where my one of my cats throws up on the bed every other morning. But I'll definitely miss my husband.

Follow up to “I Killed”

2 weeks after I wrote the blog, my SCRABBLE friend and her daughter showed up at the next SCRABBLE meeting. The daughter, was wearing my shirt, that says “That which does not kill me only continues to piss me off.”
I forgot that I had sold my friend’s husband one of those shirts. He bought it for his daughter, for her upcoming birthday. Her birthday had come and gone in the last 2 weeks, and her mother presented her with the shirt that her father had bought for her. I had someone take a picture of us for my myspace site, and sent her a copy of the picture with a link to the blog.

I didn’t hear back from her for several weeks.

When she did finally read the blog, she said she was touched, and asked if they could read part of it at the memorial service. Of course!

I Killed

2008-03-03T19:28:00.000-08:00

"I killed" in comedy means you had a great show. There's also book out called I Killed, which is a collection of humorous and scary stories from famous comedians while on the road. For obvious reasons, like I'm not famous, I'm not mentioned in the book. But if I was asked, I think this story would be my contribution to the book.

On February 22nd at the East Village Cabaret, I had a great show. I shared the billing with comedian and ventriloquist Mark James. The folks at East Village Cabaret were awesome, and my new closer worked big time. It was a good night.

The audience was mostly friends and family of Mark and I. One of the couples in attendance was a lady from my SCRABBLE club, and her husband. I had never met her husband, but knew he had some health issues and I always asked how he was doing. I knew he had been out of the hospital for several months.

After the show, he told me over and over how much he enjoyed himself. I thanked them for coming.

Tonight at SCRABBLE, my friend told me that "I killed" her husband. He passed away on February 29th, one week after the show. I am still shocked that she was at SCRABBLE just 4 days after he passed away, and was as upbeat as she was. He died quickly, and she was thankful he didn't have any prolonged suffering. She told me (confirmed by her daughter), that all he spoke about the last week of his life, was how much he enjoyed my show at East Village Cabaret, and how much fun he had. That show was probably their last big evening out as a couple, and will remain a positive memory for my friend.

This reminded me of another man that saw me perform about 2 years ago. He passed away 2 weeks after seeing me perform. His wife and friends later told me how much he loved my show and what a good time he had seeing me perform. That man was my father.

Unfortunately, death doesn't make for a blossoming fan base. But it makes me very happy to know that I was able to bring someone laughs and joy, their last days on earth.

Rubonia Mardi Gras - February 24th, 2008

2008-02-09T12:51:00.000-08:00

Please come to the Rubonia Mardi Gras, February 24th, 2008.

This year will feature the 1st (hopefully annual) Bed Races! The officiator of The Bed Races, is yours truly, Traci Kanaan, The Mistress of the Mattresses! Bed Races start at 12 Noon. See http://www.ruboniamardigras.org/ for rules and papers that don't hold the event sponsors liable for anything.

The best part of the Rubonia Mardi Gras, of course is the parade. See video below:

Parade starts at 2:30pm - and offers some great entertainment for all ages. The parade finale will be the Anheuser Busch Clydesdales! The horses should be at this event, because I know for a fact I see a BudLight truck 3 times a day making deliveries to the ONLY convenient store in Rubonia. So come on out!

So...why do I have a blog?

2008-02-09T11:13:00.000-08:00

So I wondered to myself, why do I have a blog? Obviously, I haven't been able to update it since August or September. Which tells you, I'm either too busy to keep up with it, too lazy to keep up with it, or in a coma. 2 out of 3 ain't bad...you guess which 2!

In October, I did comedy - but I'm not sure I remember where. My cousin Stephanie got married, and my mother, Mike and I went to her wedding. My cousin and her husband, Bob, were absolutely at their best that day. The Catholic priest was quite disappointed he couldn't get anyone in the little dark booth for confession. But hey! It's a little dark booth with a Catholic priest in it! And I'm not going to pay much attention to his "marriage" advice either. But that's just me.

We also hosted our 2nd Annual Clam Bake by the Bayou, 800 clams for 125 people and 2 port-o-lets. It was our best Clam Bake ever (out of the 2). The big decision for next year is do we try and break the 1000 clam mark? These are tough decisions, especially when you try to make them after a shot of tequila, while doing the YMCA, before jumping in the kiddy bounce house. (picture at left) Mike's Dad, Bill, steamed all 800 clams, and not a bad one in the bunch.

In November, I did a LOT of comedy. I took a "clean" comedy class. I took 4th in another Carnival Cruise Comedy Challenge in Port Charlotte. I opened for David Alan Grier (right) and cruise ship comedian Al Ernst. Al has a weekly radio show, and offered me the chance to be a member of his Laugh Pack, and a regular on his weekly E-Man Nation Radio Show, which broadcasts from WSRQ 1220 AM out of Sarasota. The show is every Saturday morning from 9:30am - 11am. You can listen online at http://www.newstalk1220.com/. I do a segment called Traci's Twisted Tidbits. It's real news with my twisted views, and it's a lot of fun. (Left) Myself with my Big Brothers Big Sisters "little sister," Cheyenne, who got to read some jokes on the air. In all of this, my mother came to visit for Thanksgiving, and we had a blast shopping.

December was spent working, shopping, decorating, and celebrating the holidays. It was also determined that our house had termites and would need tenting. Cha-ching! Mike and I had a wonderful, quiet Christmas with my mother and his dad. We fell asleep by 11pm New Year's Eve. I was going to need the rest.

Because January - I was off and running! I did 4 shows at Laugh In's in Ft. Myers with the very funny Frankie Paul. For Groucho's Comedy Clubs, I opened for April Macie, of Last Comic Standing: 1 show in Cocoa Beach, 2 shows in Melbourne, and 2 shows in Port St. Lucie. Picture at left is April Macie's mom Karen, April and myself. I also did my 4 weekly radio shows, and 1 very special show at McCurdy's - a female impersonator show. I was the only "real" female in the show - see below. Lindsay Carlton (far left picture). Michelle, "M", myself and Iman below. I had a dynamite show, and maybe someday I'll be able to borrow Iman's red dress. I plan on

wearing it to confession.

"Forgive me Father, for I have done comedy at a female impersonator show. Too bad you couldn't make it!"

Comedy in August 2007

2007-09-08T11:55:00.001-07:00

August 2007 had to have been my busiest month for comedy!

Titusville - August 4th with Tim the Dairy Farmer. Tim did a fantastic show that night, so I had a tough act to follow, but I managed and got a sweet 45 minute DVD to prove it! Just in time too!

Because on a whim, I decided to enter the Carnival Comedy Cruise Challenge in Tallahassee (Aug 14 &15th). It's a competition, but it's also a tool for Carnival Cruise Ships and other comedy clubs to find new talent, and for talented comics to find new venues to perform at. For me, it wasn’t about winning…my goal for this competition was to get hired by one of the clubs, The Comedy Zone, that has 70+ locations. The competition is 2 days. The first day, they gave 40 comics 3 minutes to do their best material in front of the talent scouts and other comics. Imagine doing your job in front of your competitors AND customers that might use your services someday. It's a horrific experience, especially if you suck. Fortunately - it was not my night to suck! I got some good laughs, and was one of 9 comics asked back the 2nd night.

The 2nd night, each comic got to do 6 minutes of material in front of a live audience. Then they are critiqued by the judges. Did I mention this is in front of the audience too? The audience, after hearing all the comics, votes for the winner. The names were drawn at random...and unlucky me had to go first. Every comic hates going first. The audience isn't warmed up, the expectation of the comic going first is that he/she is the least experience...it's tough being first. Thankfully, I had a great set! The judges had wonderful things to say about me...it was all good.

The rest of the comics did their thing – and 4 of them had fantastic sets. It was going to be very, very close. The judges had to recount the tally 3 times – it was that close. But I came in 5th place. Not shabby…but like I said…I didn’t go there to win. I went to get work. After the competition was over, the owner and founder of The Comedy Zone asked me to send my press kit. He liked what he saw, and is interested in hiring me for his clubs. Mission Accomplished.

Now here’s the best part…one of the talent agents approached me after the competition, and asked if I had my show on tape. I asked if he wanted the highlights, or the whole show. He said “The whole thing. I want to see what you do. I think you’re what we’re looking for.” He handed me his business card, with a big beautiful cruise ship on it that said “Carnival.” Jackpot! I’ve sent my press kit and applied for my passport. This will probably take a few months to put together…but keep your fingers crossed! And I’ll keep you posted.

The following week, I was asked to feature and host at McCurdy's. I had 7 outstanding sets...each one better than the last! I worked with a talented headliner, Pete Gray from LA. It was a great time.

I also began working for a great club, Bonkerz Comedy Clubs out of Orlando this month. They tried me out in Sanford, Ocala, and Tallahassee.

The Sanford room started out quite nice, until a heckler started getting lippy with the headliner. Before I know it, a beer bottle comes sailing from the back of the room and misses the headliner by a few inches. The waiters were on the heckler, the police were called...but somehow the show continued on. You just never know when someone in your audience is having a worse day than you!

A few days later, I headed to Ocala, at Club Zanzibar. I was a little disturbed, that the comedy stage was a hexagon shaped platform with a pole on it. Some dancing cages were behind me on either side of the DJ booth. I got the strange sensation this either "was" or still "is" a strip club. I never did a straight answer out of the club management. But I didn't have to perform comedy naked so I was fine with the set up. I had a great show, and can't wait to go back there.

Tallahassee was a fun room as well, with the nicest emcee and DJ, Yuck Mouth. My Friday show was outstanding, the Saturday shows were not my strongest but decent enough. I worked with comedy veteran, Manny Mann, who lost to Ellen Degeneres on America's Funniest People in 1983 (I think). He had lots of good stories, and keeps in touch with comedy through his comedy traffic school.

Overall...it was a great month! September, Mike and I are taking a vacation (gasp, really!), so I've not scheduled any comedy for this month. This month I'll focus on writing my 30 minutes of clean, so I can sail the ocean blue with Carnival next year!

Traci's Cleveland Comedy Tour

2007-07-19T10:04:00.001-07:00

In my own opinion, I'd say my first Cleveland Comedy Tour was a success! Although it was a short tour (3 clubs, 3 nights), it was an awesome experience!

Monday night, July 16th - Bella Dubby in Lakewood. I kicked off the evening with dinner with Cleveland Comic Joe Hannum. Joe and I went to Berea High School together, and both of us graduated in the class of 1987. Life kept him in Cleveland, life took me to Florida. But somehow, we both ended up doing stand up comedy. My girlfriend sent me a copy of an article on Joe about him doing stand up in Cleveland, and I found him on myspace. We wrote a few months, and then realized our 20th class reunion was coming up. He offered to show me the Cleveland comedy scene...and the first stop was the Bella Dubby in Lakewood. This is a great place for open mic, run by talented comedian Jim Tews. http://www.jimtews.com/ The Bella Dubby is a coffee house that serves alcohol...perfect for comedians. I met several Cleveland Comedians, who are very talented. My keyboard arrived from Florida in good condition, so I was able to do some stand up and 5 or 6 song parodies. The Cleveland comedy scene seems to be a little tighter knit community than southwest Florida, but great people. But of course...they're from Cleveland!

Tuesday, July 17th Cleveland Improv for The Irregulars Show

When I lived in Cleveland in the early 90's, the Cleveland Improv was the place to go for comedy. I remember thinking as I watched Jeff Dunham there, I wonder what it would be like to be on that stage. At the time, it never occured to me that comedy could be a "career choice". (And if I had my head screwed on straight, it still wouldn't be. But oh well.) The memory resurged itself as I walked in the front door. There was the same neon glowing bar and entrance...just as I remembered it.

Much of the Cleveland comedy community stays connected through a website called http://www.clevelandyucks.com/ Comics can post open mic notices, ask for advice, read interviews with other comics, etc. One of the common problems comics have, is "moving up the comedy food chain." They get stereo-typed as an "emcee" or "open mic-er" or "feature" and can't move to the next level. Enter Jeff Blanchard, a comedian known as "The Cleveland Guy." He worked a deal with the Cleveland Improv, and took a Tuesday night and turned it into a showcase for local comics. $5 admission, you can see the local talent, and there is a LOT of it. As I understood it, the show lineup was tight, and no chance I'd be able to perform. But Joe told me to introduce myself to Jeff. When Jeff found out I was a comic, he offered me 7 minutes of stage time. Not enough time to do song parodies - but any mic time is a gift. But to do 7 minutes at the Cleveland Improv, the club I used to visit for fun, was a real thrill! I went 3rd in the line up, and had a blast. I enjoyed watching these guys in action: Mike Baker hosted, Schizo Bill, JJ Johnson, Marv, Jim Tews, and Jeff Blanchard closing the show.

Afterwards, quite a few of the comics went to the Rock Bottom Brewery, which was a trip. Everyone was cool, except for Cerebral Sam...who was cerebral only in the sense that he had his head up his ass. He's the new guy in the Cleveland comedy scene, who just doesn't get the basic rules of comedy, like

1) be funny 2) don't heckle other comics and most importantly...

3) shut the ____ up, you might learn something

Mike Baker, God bless him, tried to set him straight, but something tells me Cerebral Sam is learning disabled. He has chemically disabled his ability to learn.

Wednesday, July 18th - Hilarities at PickWick and Frolic.

My cousin told me about Pick Wick and Frolic a few years ago, but I wasn't quite ready to start throwing myself at larger clubs when I wasn't exactly killing at the open mics yet. Good things come to those who wait - I'm glad I waited!

I was advised by several folks to keep it clean. "Clean: has 2 meanings in comedy. Clean can mean, no inuendo or bad words, OR no bad words. It's hard to tell who means clean, and who means CLEAN.

I decided to play it moderately safe - and go with "no bad words." I called about dress - the club said "We are an upscale club, but dress according to your act." So I went out and bought a nice top and dress pants, since I usually wear jeans as a knee jerk response to my mother making me wear dresses in elementary school on Friday flip up day. So I look very nice. I got there early to set up, because whenever I take that keyboard to a new club, fireworks go off. "You have a keyboard? I thought you played harmonica or something smaller. Did (insert name of contact) know you have a keyboard?" So then they call the 20 something sound guru, who comes by and says "No problem. I'll take care of it. And he did."

I went up on stage, and did very, very well. My parodies were a hit! Then the feature went up in jeans. Then the headliner went up...in jeans. Evidently, I was overdressed. Then the headliner, who I expected to be cruise ship clean, dropped the "f" bomb at least 30 times. Oh boy. So much for the "upscale, cruise ship clean" standards!

I had a wonderful cheering section - and I can't thank the following people enough for coming out to see the show: Joe and friends; Todd and friends; Stephanie, Bob, and Michelle; Bunny & Pat; Aunt Kathy & Uncle Brian; Jim and Dottie; and of course my mom, who went to every show that week. She's hard to read, but I think she's proud of me.

Berea High School 20th Class Reunion

I had a great time at my 20th High School Class Reunion. It was great seeing friends I hadn't seen since graduation, and making new ones that I never had the chance to get to know in high school. (There were 430+ kids in my graduating class.) Enjoy the slide show!

Cleveland Botanical Gardens

Also got a chance to hang out with my 2 favorite people, my mom and my husband at the Cleveland Botanical Gardens. Here's some photos from that trip!

Comedy Competitions, Cleveland Comics

2007-07-08T18:41:00.000-07:00

Capt. Brien's Off the Hook - The Finals June 27th

Well, I didn't win. But my friend and comedy buddy Bryan Hamilton did win. And I'm happy for him. We've both been in several contests over the last 3-4 years, and we always make the finals but never to the top. He made it this time. I think it's been a long time coming for me at 5 years. But Bryan's been in the business 12+ years. He's opened for Pantera, and hangs out with the bass guitarist for Marilyn Manson. That's something I could never do. But I've performed for The Red Hats in Apollo Beach. That's something Bryan would never do. Sometimes you're flavor of the day...sometimes you aren't. It was not my day to be "the flava."

Comedy in Cleveland next week

I love myspace.com. Myspace has brought me so much. It got me in touch with my friend Sara from elementary school, who is now a Baptist Preacher in Dustball, Texas. It got me in touch with my friend "Laurie" from Roehm Junior High. She now "entertains men in a private setting." But myspace.com also helped me find Joe, a guy I had several classes with in high school. Oddly enough, Joe works for an advertising agency in Cleveland. Isn't that strange, as I work for an advertising agency! Joe now attends the same church in Westlake, Ohio, that I attended when I lived in Cleveland. The kicker...Joe is also a stand up comedian.

Joe has been so gracious to help me secure some mic time in Cleveland...all for the low, low price of a few beers. Wish me luck as I take my comedy to a new state...literally. Doing comedy in Ohio means no hurricane jokes, or song parodies about city managers in Largo. But on the upside...

I'll be attending my 20th high school reunion. I have a funny feeling that I won't be without material for very long! Remember when Ozzy Osbourne was coherent? Remember when we weren't sure if that dude in Culture Club was gay? Remember when Michael Jackson was black?

The month of June

2007-06-16T20:11:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been an eventful month, and it's only the 16th!

I decided that this summer, I'd perform at least once a week. So when I saw a myspace bulletin for a comedy competition at Capt. Brien's Off the Hook Comedy Club on Marco Island, I called up and entered. The competition was Wednesday, June 13th, not the most convenient day for a business owner/aspiring comic to do a show. But I figured what the heck - go and have fun. So I went. And I won the round for that leg of the competition! Not easy! My keyboard had been moved just before the show...and the cables got tangled up around the dolly my keyboard sits on. When I went to move the keyboard, the keyboard fell off the dolly! Fortunately, I've been working out and was able to pick up the keyboard and set it where it needed to be, and did 2 songs. And then my time was up! I never got to my closer, the Paris Hilton parody. A few rounds later I watched Harley, a guitar act do a fantastic job for his first time on a comedy stage! Right after him, my friend and fellow Sarasota comic Dan Mahoney showed off with a very good set as well. The three of us made the finals...and the audience voted for the winner by applause. It was close but they voted for me! So now the finals are June 27th, which put me in a predicament, because I'd already promised friend and fellow Punta Gorda comic Max Doyle that I'd be at the Celtic Ray that night. Fortunately, Max was there and said "Go for the money!" and the Celtic Ray show will be rescheduled for a later date, so I may compete for the title of "Funniest Man on Marco Island".

To read the article published in the Marco Island Sun Times, click here.

So I had my one performance for that week down. But then, Les McCurdy called and asked me to do a few more shows that same week with veteran headliner Scott Novotny. Scott works clean, which presents a challenge for most comics (including me). Because, the last thing you want to be is the filthy potty mouth opener for the squeaky clean headliner. And I'm proud to say, I did 5 shows without dropping the "F Bomb" once! But you've got to catch Scott's act. He is an amazing guy to watch, and also does a family night comedy show which you can bring the kids too. Please check out his website and catch him next year when he's back at McCurdy's.

Photos: courtesy of Phyllis Bator of the Marco Island Sun Times

1: Traci performing at Off the Hook Comedy Club 2: Traci, Harley & Dan Mahoney, the semi-finalists 3: Brien Spina, owner of Off the Hook Comedy Club, Traci, and a really awesome DJ/emcee whose name escapes me right now

Photos: courtesy of Dan Schaerf

4: Traci, Scott Novotny, and Linda, McCurdy's Club Manager 5: one of the funny characters Scott Novotny does

This Month in Comedy

2007-05-28T08:30:00.000-07:00

I'm still experiencing euphoria from the 7 shows I hosted last week at McCurdy's Comedy Theater. I got to work with headliner and Boston Comedy Festival organizer Jim McCue. His improvisational style with the audience is really unique in that he's very friendly. He has a lot of fun with the audience without being insulting. As luck would have it - he was auditioning comics for a spot in the Boston Comedy Festival as well, so I was also hosting 7 shows with 2-3 guest comics per show. Hosting a show with 3 guest spots and a headliner, as well as trying to squeeze in your own material is a lot of work. But it was great reconnecting with comics I hadn't seen in awhile, got to meet some comics I'd heard about but haven't worked with yet, and learned a lot from Jim about how to move up the comedy food chain.

For those of you who were able to make the show...THANK YOU so much! It means a lot to me to see you there. For those of you who couldn't make it...here's what you missed:

Weight Watchers Tribute

"Jenny Got a Set"

Lisa Nowak, Don Imus & Paris Hilton

(contains a very bad word - you've been warned!)

"LARGO"

Thank you for watching...and I hope to see you at a show in the near future!

She flies through the air with the greatest ill-ease

2007-05-02T13:19:00.000-07:00

All I can say about the shows in April was...WOW! What an incredible bunch of shows. As you know, I became a headliner this month. My opening act that week was a sweet guy named Lew Sall, who just so happened to be a former Las Vegas headliner from the 80's. No pressure! He was very funny, and a great guy to work with. The first show - Gilley's Pub 44 in New Smyrna Beach - one of my favorite clubs. Then it was off to New Port Richey - a great little club there. Fridays show was cancelled due to a burlesque show (hey, I was actually willing to try burlesque comedy but the booker wouldn't let me), so I had a wonderful evening with my husband at the Indian restaurant in St. Pete. Saturday - it was back to the east coast to the Black Cloud Saloon and Grill in Bunnell - another favorite club and an awesome show. I amassed a good collection of biker gear this trip, and had a great response to my newest song parody, LARGO (about a mayor that wants a sex change). Special thanks to Giggles Comedy Clubs for the opportunity to headline!

The following week - put me at the Club Med Resort in Port St. Lucie, courtesy of Groucho's Comedy Clubs. 3 buffets a day and entertainment all day long is something I can handle. I worked with a great headliner, David Nickerson. Our first show was at a bowling alley in Okeechobee. What a dream come true that was. The people were friendly, other than the audience needing a smoke break after 45 minutes. Everyone in the audience, that is, except for the poor woman with the tracheotomy. And if you don't believe me - check with Ruth Lawler - who came to visit me for a few days at Club Med! She's my witness. The next 4 shows were at Club Med, Friday night wasn't memorable, but Saturday was out of control. The 10pm show - to my left were 10 Canadians (1 Korean/Canadian) that had been drinking since 1pm. To my right - some "indigenous" Southern folks that had been drinking since they were 12. I hope to publish some of the video on the blog here pretty soon - because the shows were "off the chain, and into someone else's backyard!"
Saturday afternoon after a long nap, I decided it was time to try the trapeze. I've performed in front of 650 people - and I found getting ready to jump from a platform holding a stick far more terrifying! I'm glad I did it - though I'm still having some problems with my shoulders. One of my friends said it best. "So, you did the trapeze huh. What the hell were you thinking?" Enjoy the photos. Look Ma! No brains!